(BTS FF) Ending Green

thirty-seven◌ೄ◌ྀ ˊˎpeace is a side door

Riya's POV

My therapist told me associating neutral things to harmful things is a survival tactic. If something is loud, I'll jump far away so I won't be hurt, but not every loud thing is dangerous. I know that now.

When I first started to fear green, I was five, but I used to love it before. Green grass, green trees, green lily pads, and green frogs. 

Green can be dirty, but green is also the color of nature. Green grass means healthy grass. Green leaves mean the summer breeze is nearby. Green is the shell of a watermelon. 

I used to love watermelon before green and red consumed me, but a color isn't what hurt me; my parents are what hurt me. My parents, their friends, and Chansoo.

I'm not feeling a color; I'm feeling what they did to me. 

The color green didn't do anything wrong, and neither did I.

I won't blame green anymore, and I won't blame myself anymore.

We're innocent. We always have been.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Guess what?" Taehyung said as he plopped onto the chair beside my hospital bed.

I smiled a bit, wondering, "What?"

He brought his hands out from behind his back and held up a sandwich wrapped tightly in foil.

"I snuck this in for you," he said, quite proud of himself. "I'm your favorite now, aren't I?" He scoffed at his own words. "What am I saying? Of course I am; I always have been."

I took the sandwich from him. As I peeled back the foil, I said, "I don't know why you thought otherwise."

He smiled. "Yeah, I don't know either."

We fell silent after that. The foil crinkled, and its sounds echoed off the hospital room's walls.

He jostled his leg.

I stared adamantly at my sandwich.

Once I took a bite, he asked, "Well?"

"Good," I mumbled around a mouthful. "Thanks."

"Yup!"

We dissolved into another silence.

He scooted a bit closer. "Riya?"

"Yeah?"

He cleared his throat. "How's your arm?"

I looked at the sling that stabilized my dislocated left shoulder.

I wanted to shrug his words off, but I couldn't. Instead, I told him, "Feels the same as it did yesterday and probably will feel the same tomorrow."

"Right. Yeah. Probably." He shifted awkwardly. "Riya?"

"Yeah?"

"We uh...we really miss you."

This retrieved a smile from me, and my eyes burned. I whispered, "I miss you guys, too."

"They'll discharge you soon, right? They already ruled out everything else out."

"It's the concussion," I murmured. "They want to keep an eye on it."

"Right. Sorry."

"Not your fault."

He sighed and leaned forward, resting his forehead on the edge of my bed. "You know what?"