Hotch: Y/n can I talk to you?
Y/n: yeah sure 🤷♀️
Derek: YALL R ON A FIRST NAME BASIS???? 🥹🤨
Emily: I JUST NOTICED THAT!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
Penelope: and he calls her doll sometimes 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Hotch: don't get any ideas.
JJ: I have a lot of ideas rn though. 😟😔
Emily: U MADE JJ SAD
JJ: nah I'm good
Derek: she's G em she don't get sad
JJ: 🥹🫶
Penelope: is she in his office yet?
Derek: she's probably on her knees about now 🤷🏾♂️
Emily: HELP-
Rossi: 😟
Spencer: ??????
JJ: THE BLINDS R CLOSED TOO SO WE CANT SEE WHATS GOING ONNNNN!
Derek: lowkey wanna watch them have sex 😔
Emily: that's pervie
Penelope: 😟
Spencer: I'm scared of you...
Derek: DONT BE IM A GENTLE GIANT 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
Penelope: touché
JJ: is there movement
Derek: the only movement is hotch between her legsssss 🤷🏾♂️😩🥹
Emily: ...
JJ: ....
Spencer: Emily.
Emily: THERES A FUCKIG FLY IN HER
Derek: A FLY WTF????
JJ: I HATE FLYS
Penelope: WHY R THEY HERE???
Spencer: They're attracted to easy rich food sources such as faeces, rotting meat, decomposing animals and fruits.
Derek: I bet y/n his Beth's body here LOL
Emily: BYE- 😭😭😭😭
JJ: that would be such a y/n thing too do too.
Spencer: KILL IT!
Derek: YOU KILL IT!
Spencer: YOURE THE "MAN"!
Derek: since when? 🧔🏾♀️
Emily: THE BEARED WOMEN EMJOI HELP-
Penelope: DEREK- 😭😭😭
JJ: I'm tryna catch the fly but my hands are weak 😭😭😭😭
Emily: WHERE IS ROSSI?
Derek: fucking staruss
JJ: with her dusty ass vagina 🙄
Derek: JJ 😭😭😭
Emily: THATS WILD!!!!!!!!!!!😭😭😭😭
Spencer: i bet it's true though
JJ: HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Penelope: WHAT ABOUT THE FLY?????
Spencer: got it!
Derek: good job pretty boy 😝😝😝😝😝🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
JJ: Thank God Spence-...
Emily: OKAY BACK TO Y/N AND HOTCH
Derek: about now she's in doggy style fr
JJ: doggy?
Derek: hotch seems like he's dominant and likes it rough...I bet he has a spit kink
Emily: MENACE MENACE MENACE MENACEEEEEEE 😟
JJ: I agree though LMAO-?
Derek: seeJJ knows Fr
Spencer: calculated she should be walking out now.
Derek: damn he really is a genius
Emily: y/n is genuinely so hot.. why would leave her for Beth tf?
Derek: that Karen bitch?
JJ: EXACTLYYYYYY
Y/n: hey
Spencer: hey
Derek: how r ur legs babe?
Y/n: fine?
Derek: what abt ur cooch?
Emily: WHAT-? 😟
JJ: you have no shame no shame at all...
Spencer: 😟
Penelope: 😟
Y/n: it's fine too 🤨
Derek: still intact?
Y/n: INTACT?
JJ: IM SORRY WHAT-????
Emily: he's an absolute menace and we should all be afraid...?
Derek: or did hotch go in the wrong hole?
Y/n: WHAT DO U THINK WE DID?
JJ: wrong hole is insane
Spencer: frr JJ-
Emily: that's enough texting for me today...
Penelope: Fr...
Derek: y'all didn't fuck?
Spencer: 😟
Y/n: NO? We talked
Emily: by that she means they moaned each other names and called each other pet names and teased the other
Emily: actually no hotch seems like he'd been the dominant teaser 🤷🏻♀️
JJ: that's actually fair enough to agree with
Hotch: we didn't do anything 🤦🏻♂️
Derek: not even kiss? 🤨
Y/n: NO WE ARENT DATING I AM SINGLE HE IS I actually don't know 🤷♀️
Hotch: what's that suppose to mean?
Y/n: ur a whore 🫶
Hotch: I'm single too.
Derek: so do I have a chance.
Hotch: No.
Emily: BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH 😭
JJ: does y/n have a chance?
Hotch: get back to work.
YOU ARE READING
REWRITTEN BAU GC ❤️
FanfictionWELCOME TO THE NEW AND IMPROVED BAU GROUP CHAT! Here is what this story consists of: Y/n x Hotch Y/n x Reid Y/n x Derek JJ x Reid JJ x Emily Penelope x Derek Hotch x Derek Emily x Hotch Beth Slander Staruss Slander Kevin slander Characters: Y/n L...
