Attack on Titan x Reader One Shots

She - Sasha Braus x Fem!Reader

TRIGGER WARNING: This Chapter deals with severe internal homophoboia and self hatred (and also spoilers from chapter 105 if you don't know yet)

Also this is just all angst. sorry guys :(

As a scout, Sasha  didn't really have time for romance. In a profession where seeing the next sunrise was uncertain, love didn't have space in a soldiers life.

This made it so much easier for Sasha to pretend like she was normal. 

Until she met you.

You were a chef assistant for the Marleyan navy; captured, and made to work just like everyone else. You were chef Niccolo's self proclaimed "second in command", even though you were just a kitchen girl.

Sasha didn't know what started them: her feelings. 

Maybe it was your expression; your eyes holding no judgement, no hatred, no disgust towards the scouts. You were simply curious, and perhaps a little shy. 

Maybe it was your looks; the way the cooking apron hugged your body in all the best ways, the way your eyes sparkled in the sunlight, the small, nearly hidden smile on your lips as the scouts expressed their enjoyment of the food. 

Sasha didn't know, but whatever it was had so completely enraptured her, that she couldn't even try to ignore them. 

As she got to know you better, her feelings grew deeper. She tried and tried and tried to forget about them, knowing that it was not only wrong to love an enemy, but wrong to  desire the love of another girl the way that normal girls loved boys. 

But as she got to know you more, you were all she could think about. 

She thought about you when she woke up in the morning, wishing you were laying beside her, keeping her warm.

She thought about your voice when she was surrounded in silence; thought about your laugh and the way you said her name, making her stomach swell with warmth. 

She tought about you when the scouts were planning their attacks, feeling so, so guilty that she was supposed to attack your home. Hurt your  friends, your people.  

She even thought of you late at night when she was alone, hands between her thighs as she de-stressed. These nights however always started with ecstasy, but ended with shame, as Sasha felt herself dirty for thinking about  you like that; using your beautiful person as a tool for her own unnatural desire. 

For nearly her whole life Sasha kept these sinful thoughts to herself, until one night her roomate Mikasa was lamenting; telling Sasha her deepest fears about love, romance, and what would happen to Eren in the end. 

Obviously to deflect the attention off her own feelings, Mikasa asked Sasha about her love life. And in the face of all that pent up guilt and self hatred, all Sasha could do was cry. Of course, after the truth came out, Mikasa was understanding, and to Sasha, that might have been even worse than hatred. 

You were a permanent resident in her thoughts, a plague in her mind. The longing she felt for you tore her apart daily. But oh how she did not want to let you go. In the world where everyone hated her people, her life, you existed as that beacon of light, of tranquility, and Sasha desperately held on to that. She knew she could never hold you the way she wished, laugh, touch, live with you the way that she wanted to, like soulmates out of a fairytale. 

You were her ultimate comfort.

And even as she bled onto the steel floor of the airship, Sasha thought of you. As the pain in her abdomen became blinding, she thought of your sweet laugh, your smile, your eyes. 

She hoped you would mourn for her, hoped that maybe she meant something to you, even if it was just a fraction of what you meant to her

But even though she thought of you in her last moments, Sasha did not die happy. Because her very last thought was of your beautiful face twisted in grief. 

☆ ☆ ☆

A/N: Guys please forgive me. I know I said I would never write any angst but this idea came to me and I had to write it down. I promise I will make up for it though with some happy and healthy Sasha content!