here we are, again | billie eilish

22 | dont let me go

                                - billie's pov -

i woke up to the sun beaming through the window of the hotel. i looked at the hotel clock on the night stand and it was like 6am. so the sun was just rising.

i guess im waking up so early because last night i was so mad that i just turned my phone off and went to bed.

i held the side button on my phone to turn it on. while i waited on that, i started flipping through channels on the tv.

soon as my phone came on, it just started buzzing like crazy. then i saw that it was just multiple notifications from leilani.

i rolled my eyes. she must've been blowing me up with apologies. what the fuck ever.

i opened my phone and furrowed my eyebrows at the sight.

32 missed calls from leilani.
19 messages from leilani.

i opened the message thread and my heart dropped. i quickly shot out of bed and out the door of the hotel room.

my mind felt like it went blank. however, i felt like everything was going through my mind at the same time. so many scenarios.

i only read like 3 messages and one of them said that luca broke in and she needs help.

FUCK.

what happened?

i have NEVER driven as fast as i am right now. im sure i ran like 4 red lights. but i don't care. i know im driving crazy cause all i hear is car horns as im speeding through.

on my way to the apartment building, i kept calling her phone. but she wouldn't answer.

"cmon lani, cmon lani please," i say out loud as i beg her to answer the phone.

nothing.

after what felt like 3 years, i arrive to the apartment building and barely parked my car before getting out and running inside the building.

i ran to the elevator and pressed the floor number. i was hyperventilating the whole way up. my foot was tapping, my jaw clenching.

im losing it.

i barely let the elevator doors open before i ran out, dashing down the hallway to get to lani's place.

i try to open the door but it's locked. luckily, lani gave me a key to the apartment to have on my keychain so i used that one. 

it was super hard though considering how jittery my hands were but i eventually got the door open and busted inside the apartment.

i ran straight to her bedroom and stopped in the doorway, my eyes damn near falling out of my head.

there luca marino was, laying on leilani's bed with nothing on but a white t- shirt that was basically fully red but i hope it's not what i think it is.

i looked over to see leilani sitting in the corner, holding her knees. she was in nothing but an oversized tee shirt.

it's like she wasn't facing his direction. as if she was afraid to see him.

i immediately ran to her, kneeling to the floor to hold her in my arms. she instantly started sobbing hysterically into my shoulder.

"billie!" she screeched in a cry.

"im here," i told her as i rocked her back and forth. "im here, im here. it's okay."

"he's dead billie," she cried. "he's dead."