here we are, again | billie eilish

23 | kiss it goodbye

"all rise," the bailiff started. "the supreme court
of the state of new york is now in session."

a bailiff is an official or police in a court of law who keeps order and makes announcements.

he went on to introduce the judge and do everything else they do.

me? i stood there, anxious as fuck.

now, in order for a trial to be considered fair, the defendant and their attorney must know what evidence will be used against them so they have a chance to refute it.

so when lisa presented the new evidence to me, i was immediately annoyed. but she prepared me for today so i think im ready.

billie on the other hand, i dont know. she's in the audience tapping her foot like crazy. when we were told that i had to go to trial, we were so bummed that we have to relive this shit.

also bummed that this'll be public to the world.

and oh yeah, also bummed that i could go to fucking prison for murder.

i know it was self defense, but not all self defense cases go through. if his family presented enough evidence to even get some shit started back up, then my chances are already looking shitty.

all we can do is hope for the best.

the bailiff called me up and had me swear in. "do you swear that the evidence you shall give to the court in this matter shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?"

once we got past all that, we got started.

"your honor, my client has raised concern over the murder of her beloved brother because of the questionable behavior that the defendant possess," the prosecutor, mr. clark said.

"like what?" the judge asked.

"there's been many cases where mrs. rose-o'connell has pulled a knife on different men and threatened their lives."

i just rolled my eyes.

"luckily, our girl is in the media so people are always video taping her," he said as he pulled out pictures of me and took them to the judges stand. "these are her pulling knives on different men."

the judge glanced at me and rose her eyebrows.

i'm fucked.

"so, who's to say it was self defense? maybe they had sex, he might've pissed her off, and she went for the kill."

blah blah blah..

eventually, it was my lawyer, lisa's turn.

"regardless of what those pictures show, my client doesn't even have a criminal record," she started.

"which means what?" mr. clark said.

"im talking," lisa looked back at him. "my client pulled those knives out as a scare tactic as those were men who were very physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive to her."

she continued saying her spill and then..

i was called to the stand for cross examination.

i went and sat in the witness chair and mr. clark began to question me.

"mrs. rose- o'connell," he started with a smirk on his face. "did you and mr. marino have any conflict during your time at victoria secret?"

i looked at lisa and she nodded her head, giving me approval.

"yes," i said.

"why?" he asked.

"because he began touching me inappropriately and i would get upset," i said lowly.