how could you help me ..

4

"han... i have an eating disorder. "

Said Felix . He was shivering, probably scared of what han is going to say. Meanwhile, han was too shocked to speak rather to move any of his body parts. He was just sitting there holding Felix hand and looking at him.

Han didn't know what he should say . He was clearly in disbelieve about what was happening at the moment. This was all too much for him his thoughts were going on and about

Why would Felix even have an eating disorder he looks just fine. did his friends do anything ... did he do anything or made a comment that triggered Felix that bad . what if his brother said something . what if Felix's parents did something.

han was overthinking something he usually doesn't do only if it's really ,really worrying him . He would think about everything and would try and find soo many solutions as possible.

After what felt like hours, han snapped out and squeezed Felix's hand, speaking in a calm voice. "Firstly, Felix, i am so glad that you came out and told me about it. it can be really hard to tell anyone about this information, and im just so happy that you trust me that much." Felix was looking down but then had a slight smile on his face . He was relieved that han didn't overreact or say anything that would make Felix more anxious as he already was. "Secondly, i have some questions you can nod if you want to answer, and if not, just shake your face, alright lix?" Han waited for Felix to nod or shake his head in which Felix nodded his head.

" Does anyone else know about this beside me?"

"Only you han and Olivia ... except that no one" answered Felix in a whisper .

" Are you planning on telling it to your parents?"

"Maybe my mother tomorrow."

"Want me to help you ?"

"Please," Felix Squeeze Han's hand . he felt

"Do you want to tell me more about your eating disorder now or tomorrow?"

Felix was clearly hesitating but said in a shaky voice, " It's been now a year that im dealing with it, and lately, it's getting worse than good. I cant look in the mirror without judging my entire body , i cant eat normally without having so much trouble and more breakdowns than usual , i cant even sleep normally or stand without felling tired and nearly having the urge to kill myself from all the pain ." Tears stared to fall on Felix's cheeks . He was crying . It was heartbreaking for han to see this . He came closer and hugged him with one arm, keeping him close and caressing his hair with the other one . "Lixie shh please its alright. cry as much as you want . let it all out okay ? Tell me everything that is bothering you lately, and don't worry about anything. Just speak and don't stop."

"It's getting worse than ever.. im scared, han. Im scared to eat anything or even drink anything ." Felix held han tight, burring his face in Hans chest ,crying more . Han held him tighter, not planning to let go . He was still caressing his hair. "You know Felix, im proud of you ,im proud that you are still trying your best and not already giving up. Im proud of you even though if you are not proud of yourself . Im proud of you for even having the power to come to school every morning to smile every day, to come to class, and even do normal basic things. Im proud of you and always will be. " Han hugged Felix tighter, still keeping his one arm around Felix trying to comfort him as much as possible.

But han himself was scared. He never thought that his Felix, sunshine who would make anyone happy by just smiling ,changing the mood if it was awkward or just being himself , happy and energic ,could've been suffering so badly . He was scared since he knew he couldn't help him as much as he wanted too but he still tried to do anything to make his mood change . Even if it was only the slightest change , anything to make Felix better.

After what felt like an eternity, Felix slowly loosened from the hug. Han was relieved, noticing his body starting to relax a bit. The pain Felix was experiencing was slowly going away . Han could feel Felix becoming comfortable by the second, but that didn't stop han from having his one arm around Felix. He didn't want to let Felix go just yet. Han was happy seeing Felix better, but it still didn't stop him from being worried.

"It's okay. im better now," said Felix, who slowly let go of the hug and looked into the eyes of han. Looking deeply into them, you could see all the pain that was held together, and finally, being able to let it go was one of the best things han thought Felix did for a start.

Han turned off the game they were playing and stood up. He held Felix's hand and pulled him to the bed, then laid down with him on it . He slowly cuddled himself into Felix without saying anything . Physical touch was something to relieve all kind of pain for them. The other one doesn't even need to know what pain they are experiencing. Just hugging and cuddling each other was the best comfort you would ever get.

There was silence for some minutes, but then han interrupted it by suddenly saying "Felix do you think you need to go into a hospital or that kind ?" Felix was silent for minutes."There is a big chance that i need to han.. "

Han was silent . He was thinking ,not about the hospital he was thinking about himself . Thinking of how bad of a friend he actually is. Han was thinking about many things really lots of things like how he could've helped him but was too blind to even see how he was making it worse into letting Felix giving him his own food every day. Han was smart really smart if it comes to school but if its anything out of school he would be ,how Felix likes to call it , 'a Lamie' a slow thinker it bothers him lots cause sometimes it can prevent him from thinking about important decisions or in this case, preventing Felix to eat his own food and giving it to han .

.."Will you come visit me, han?" said Felix in which han replied with." Is that even a question? i will visit you so much i can Felix . i will even sneak in some games and goodies for you. " Felix giggles and hugged han tighter " night " . "night, my sunshine, "

1126 words