how could you help me ..

29

Han was nervously tapping the suitcase in front of him. He packed some things like clothes, skincare products, a blanket, underwear, his notebook, I pad and of course the vape + cigs

Like who is he to not go out without them. He needs them

He looked at how full the suitcase got and stood up. He got his I pad and tried to remember.

"The clinic disorder south morgan"

He put that on the search bar and waited for it to load. He clicked on the first link and was on a website

There was a photo of a woman laying on the grass, behind her the familiar building han visited once, or twice for felix

To think about it, he hasn't told felix about him going there. What should he say? Like, "Oh hey, felix, I have an eating disorder slayy."

Ugh

Under that foto was written

Your clinic for an eating disorder
We offer treatment places for people with eating disorders

He skimmed through the following written text about how they helped people and blah blah.

He was looking for something and found it. He clicked on it and was transferred into another website, and his eyes widened.

What

2300 calories a day

What are they feeding, piggys?

He looked through other plans and all of that, and he was about to throw up.

He was scared. Han couldn't even barely eat 200 calories without crying. How will he even manage to eat that much?
He tuend off his I pad and just lays on the bed thinking about what he put himself into.

Everyone who han met told him about how underwear he now looked. That he loos like a zombie and should eat a slice of bread or smth

But isn't that what they wanted? Didn't they want han to lose weight? Didn't they want him to be pretty?

And when he managed to change the slightest, they tell him to stop. Like what?

He doesn't understand...

But to think of it, no one said it in front of his face.

Yeah like of course his classmates but they didn't dare to tell it to him and did it behind his back.

His mom never said something or his brother, nor seungmin, changbin or jeongin and bangchan.

It was jisung

It was his horrible mind that would always tell him to lose more. Tell him to throw up or that he looks bad in everything and anything.

What has han made himself into.

He couldn't sleep properly, eat properly, or even do anything normally.

He was scared. He didn't want to gain weight... but he wanted someone to take care of him. Someone who would sit with him until he finished eating. Someone who wouldn't let him go to the bathroom after eating.

Someone, just that someone

"Seungmin, what do you think of those?" Han points at some pink and white hair clippers. They looked silly but pretty.

Seungmin stood beside him and raised an eye brow. "For you? Yeah, they would look cute. "

Han smiles weakly but shakes his head as he picked them up. "Remember the nurse? I got stuck in the elevator? The slightly taller one with brown-ish hair?"

Seungmin was thinking, then nods "yeah i do. Why sungie?" Seungmin asked.

"His hair keeps falling on his eyes. I..I want this to give to him"

Han couldn't even talk normally anymore. Even though he tried, his brain was empty, not even slightly working.

Seungmin stared at han and smiled, ruffling his hair. He put his hand down as he felt a bunch of it falling off. "Yeah, I think he would absolutely like them."

They brought the hair clippers and some other things. As they were outside, seungmin turned around, which confused han.

Without han knowing how to react, seungmin hugged him. Han smiled and hugged him back.

Han was shaking.

"I'm scared." Han's voice was not even above a whisper

Seungmin just held him even tigher, feeling nearly every bone from han. He missed the han that would have so much energy, jump around, and eat whatever he wanted. Han got so thin...seungmin himself was scared.

"It's going to be okay, I promise." Seungmin said, rocking his back

He let go and put his jacket over han his face blue from how much he was freezing.

"Come, let's walk home. I'll carry you if you want." He offered han.

Han smiles and let himself being carried home.

Seungmin was warm. Comfortably warm.

__________

"Which movie do you want to watch?" Asked changbin as he made himself comfortable with the others.

Han was thinking. He didn't know. He couldn't think of one how matter he tried.

"What about home alone? It's your favourite, " said jeongin, who was sitting beside han.

Han smiles and nods "right yeah let's watch that."

They all made themselves comfortable wrapping nearly three blankets around han, who was still shaking.

But they didn't watch it and started to talk about life. About how the one misses the other and about problems.

Changbin talked about how his father wants him to marry someone with wealth so that they can stay rich

Bangchan said something about how he is going to college and not being able to see us a lot.

Jeongin cried, saying that how he is going to miss han, his boyfriend, and how much he missed felix.

And for the first time Seungmin talked about his problems. How his mother doesn't approve of people being in the lgbtq. He doesn't know what to do since of course he loves his mother, but he's scared of what she'll say when she knows Seungmin likes boys.

Han just listened and told them about how scared he is to go to the clinic. He's scared of what will happen and that they may need to force him into eating and all of that.

You could say everyone has their own problems, and no matter how 'big' or 'small ' , some problems affect people more than others.

Let's just hope for the best and take care of yourself. 🫂💗💗