Players Game |

16: Memories

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REIA

Do you feel like falling in love with someone? Being obsessed with? Cause I do, it is so hard to say that I fall for him—even though I hated him in the past years.

Hindi ko alam na mahuhulog pala ako sa kanya, siya ang naging reason ng lahat ng pag-bangon ko sa umaga. Yet the world is so cruel and confusing—nakaka-lito, litong-lito na ako.

He is the type of guy that everyone will love, he is academically smart, kind, innocent, and God-fearing. Sino di aayaw? I love every inch of him—flaws and imperfections. Everything. But not all the time I can handle the fact that he will never be mine, so many girls adore him and I have no chance of winning him.

I have given everything I can give to that one person I love and appreciate the most, I didn't know that I would get ignored. But I did enjoy those wonderful moments with you, I just wish it could extend and have more memories with you but I guess it just ends there. After giving the gift you would just ignore me, which hurts me but there's nothing else I can do. I'm so sorry. I wish I could do better.  I will never be like them, I can't be like them. You are like a sun that stays in the sky that everyone likes and adores. I wish you could see my efforts and my appreciation for you, but it's hard for you to see of course you focus on yourself, I'm not you and you're not me, we don't have any similarities anyway.

• • •

THEANA

I am alone again, sitting on my king-size bed wondering what will happen next. I already confessed, yet my feelings still lingered for him. Gusto ko umiyak, malungkot pero hindi ko magawa. My mind kept repeating to me 'Is it worth it'?

   And the cold breeze of December keeps my room, so quiet, so lonely—as the temperature works, my mind keeps running and running from the memorable past wishing that it will never last. Napa-pikit ako habang nakahiga pa din sa kama inaalala nag mga ito.

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Arthur:
punta ako diyan after ko kumain

I was staring blankly at my screen overthinking that time. Punta? Will you just give me the things I need or stay with me—staying with me can distract me. Kaya sigurado, sigurado akong walang gagana ni isa sa utak ko. Realizing that he might stay here makes my body energize, dali-dali akong tumayo at nag-ligpit sabay hanap ng maisusuot na damit at naligo na din ako.

I remember kaka-gawa ko lang pala ng confession letter at naka-md iyon. Sa pagkaka-alam ko ay na-seen na iyon, pero possible niyang hindi iyon binasa.

Isang oras siya bago mag-sabi sa akin na lumabas ako, my inner feeling got so awkward when I got an interaction with me. Hindi ako sanay, sanay siya kausapin. But not gonna lie, Arthur is loud when we are alone together iyong sides niyang hindi ko madalas sa eskwelahan at lumalabas na lang bigla. He may sound or look weird and crazy, but it was too adorable to watch. Sobra ang pigil ko ng tawa kapag nakikita ko iyong kakulitan niya.

"Wow, may bago ka palang teddy bear?" Pag-kuha nito sa biniling teddy bear sa kin noong birthday ko ineregalo sa akin iyon.

"Ah, oo."