I see it. Lahat nga siguro ng sikreto ay nabubunyag, because it did. In my life, I don't know these days if it's even worth it to show feelings to everyone — or to ask for help.
And I could not believe that they were hiding something about me. He is a good mischief, indeed he is dahil hindi ko napansin kung ano intentiyon niya at hindi ko din alam kung bakit kailangan niya gawin. I am human too, but I have been betrayed so many times.
Akala ko Theana isang beses ka lang magpapaloko, but here we are. . . You have been betrayed by my family, friends... Wala na ngang mapagkakatiwalaan ngayon.
"Reia, tanong lang." Sabi ko, we are currently talking on a call. She asked me if we could talk, and I agreed with that. I was lonely and I was scared that I reject her offer — baka may masamang mang-yari.
"Bakit?"
"Do you remember, the day I do confess using Morse code?" I asked.
"Oo, bakit?"
"Naalala mo ba ang time na sinabi mo sa akin ang isang bagay tungkol kay Arthur? That he said something that made me turned off?"
"Ha?"
She sounds confused.
"Iyong sinabi niyang 'lalo na pag ako' noong nalaman niyang may gusto ako sa kanya. And in that case, he was running away from it, saying that he did not. Is that true?" I explained.
She gasped and silence covered in a few seconds "What? Anong hindi totoo? Did he say that to us kasama pa si Alijah noon tapos hindi daw naalala? Nakaka-tawa ah?" She said sarcastically and I don't know if she was lying or not.
"He said he doesn't know my feelings and he is not aware."
"Anong hindi aware? Paeta, alam niya!" She yelled, "Remember the morse code? Aware siya doon."
Napatigil ako sandali sa naramdamang gulat, "What? He told me that he did not?"
"Sinungaling! Sinabi sa kanya ni Jacob, remember the time you chat Jacob in your other acc? He sends it to Arthur."
What. The. Fuck.
"Backstabber.", I said calmly.
Tangina. After I trust him about that, even if he had feelings for me back then — and he have a fucking guts to talk to me, ask for help, everything! Putangina, totoo nga talaga. Habol lang din nila sa akin talino ko o kabaitan ko o ano? Taking advantage of my weakness. And I don't even get why, why the hell they need to do that to me. They are aware I am weak and need support. But what the tthefuck, they are taking advantage of it.
• • •
Pumunta ako sa bahay ni Reia, it was January 30 to be exact — dahil nga journalism namin. She asks for a favour and I don't know if it's even a favour And I don't expect that everything will not happen that well. When will I have my peace?
"Bakit pala hindi mo sinabi sa akin agad iyong nangyari?" I asked Reia, habang nag-aayos siya ng isasampay niya.
"Kasi you have so many problems that day? And you are angry with your mother, kaya baka sugurin mo si Arthur." She replied, and I nodded.
Ah.
"'Di ba may sinabi ma noon kay Jacob? Nasaktan siya doon."
"It's true naman 'e, I don't like romance. And I don't wish for it."
"Kaya noong nalaman kang nireject ka ni Arthur, tuwang-tuwa siya."
What a stupid person. Hindi ko alam ano mismo habol nila. Dahil halos lahat pare-parehas tumatakbo utak nila, nakaka-tawa lang sila.
"That's rude." Sabi ko, "Just because I rejected him?"
"Nakaka-inis din si Jacob 'e, halos araw-araw may bagong crush." Tumawa ako sa sinabi nito.
"Hindi ka na nasanay, doon siya masaya." I started to trace my name in their dirty car which was parked on their balcony.
Napansin ko ding may basag iyong harap nila, "Nabasag?"
"Noon pa iyan, noong na-lock out kami niyan." Sagot nito.
Lockout, may ganoon ba?
"Binasag para mabuksan, kaya itong malaking kotse ang hinarang kasi para hindi makita." Tumango muli ako dito at sinusundan ang pag-lalakad niya para isabit ang isasampay niyang damit.
"Arthur is aware of my feelings 'di ba?"
"Oo, alam niya iyon. Tsaka halata naman sa kilos mo daw." She answered.
But he lied that he did not. And I was too innocent to know that he was lying to me.
"Sabi pa niya noon about doon sa morse code na 'shy type si Avery." Dagdag niya.
Ulol.
"Ah... Pero ang lakas niyang mag-bigay ng signal and he was not even aware of it?" What the fuck.
"Kalokohan."
But those things will not work in that way, dahil marami, maraming nag-aantay ng problema sa likuran ko. Dahil gusto ko ngang umalis dito sa lugar na ito dahil paunti ng paunti ang mga taong napagkakatiwalaan ko. Sabihin na nating na riyan si Reia. But will she stay until I give my last word?
No. Not really. And I am scared again, because every move I make, every mistake I make— it's being watched. I do not know them by heart, hindi ko pa din alam ang takbo ng utak nila. I can't blame them if they betrayed me. I am not even worth it to treasure, because I am nothing. Para lang akong last option in every jewellery have, the last thing they can call to. Because they lose it all. I was easy to manipulate, dahil mataas ang tiwala ko. I care about them, and I know they may be aware of it. Sino bang hindi.
Until this day, until I lost them and the board will be gone and been taken off. Will I be with them too? Even if they are asking for more games, more memories. It will end here. I want the end game to end here, the SPADES — my trust in SPADES will end here. I feel that they will leave me when I leave, they laugh at me when I am weak. They don't pity me or owe me because I do.
Now I found them all as a master of mischief.
YOU ARE READING
Players Game |
Teen Fiction"I thought loving was fun, it is a burden for me." Theana Avery Reid was a dedicated academic achiever, and loving was too hard for her - but not until she fell in love with Arthur Greiger. Arthur is a smart, handsome, and popular chess gamer and h...
