Traversing with the Infinity (Sun Rays #1)

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

It's been a week now, and I find myself staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, caught in the indecision of whether to get up or stay in bed a little longer. I turned my eyes to the window and watched as streams of raindrops slid down the glass, each one like a slow, quiet race to the bottom. I kept staring, my thoughts wandering aimlessly, unsure of where they were headed.

The rain poured heavily outside, its steady rhythm matching the stillness in my room. The gloomy weather only made me want to stay curled up in my little corner and wanted to stay away from everything else.

I do not know how to describe what I had been feeling lately. Halos hindi ko nga ramdam ang Year End Party namin noon, e. The days just went by so fast at hindi ko manlang inabalang umalis sa bahay ngayong holidays.

I don't look forward to the days the way I used to. Before, it was the only thing I clung to. Some days, even without a reason, I'd still face it head-on—no matter how it ended—just because I knew I had the people I loved beside me. But the sad truth is, life has a way of flipping the table when you least expect it. No matter how you look at it, some things will hit you harder than you ever thought they could.

And sometimes, the ones you trust the most are the first to leave you standing in the wreckage.

Nothing, really. Just feels like my whole being is drifting through space—lost, weightless, nowhere to land. In short, lutang.

"Ayos, what a good morning world," malakas kong buntonghininga, handa nang bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga matapos ang ilang oras na nakatulala ako sa kawalan.

Nang matapos akong mag-ayos ng sarili at gawin ang morning routine ko, bumaba na ako agad sa hagdan at dumiretso na sa shop ni Lolo Kenzy, hindi ko na inabalang pumunta sa ibang parte ng bahay at doon na lang dumiretso. Lolo Kenzy's shop has always been one of my comfort places, not just because he's there whenever I need to run away from everything, but because it's filled with the little things that never fail to make me happy.

Ngunit ngayon na alam kong bawat presensya nina Papa na nasa loob ng bahay, hindi ko pa siya kayang harapin at kausapin. I was never the type to hold a grudge because my mother taught me to always try to understand and forgive. But now that she was part of all this, someone so close to me. . . I wonder, if she were still alive to see what Papa did, would she still be able to forgive?

Now that Ma'am Racquel and Lezin have been staying here since then. Pero kahit ganoon, matapos ang mga nangyaring sagutan, hindi ko na hinayaang maglandas ang mga direksyon namin sa bahay, lalo na si Papa.

I would just stay inside Lolo Kenzy's shop at tinutulungan siya rito. Minsan, ako rin ang taga-deliver sa ibang customer na taga-Centro o kaya sa malapit na kabilang bayan. At dahil naabutan ko na naman siyang nagpa-pack sa counter ay lumapit na ako upang magkusang tumulong.

"Morning, lo! Ako na r'yan, ang dami mo pang i-pa-pack, oh!" buong galak kong bungad sa kanya. Hindi siya nagsalita, halatang abala, kaya hinayaan niya lang akong gawin ang gusto ko. "Taray, may pa-flash sale ka na ngayon, Lo?"

"Iyon naman ang purpose ngayong buwan ng Disyembre, apo. Maging mapagbigay tayo. Kaya kahit sa simpleng paraan, gusto kong i-share ang mga pinaghirapan ko—lalo na 'yang mga skateboard na alam kong hinahangad ng ibang magkaroon," he said proudly.

"Gano'n po ba?"

"Oo, kaya ngayon huwag kang magpakabarat. Minsan na nga lang may mangaroling dito sa bahay natin, sinabayan mo pa sila. Paano 'yon? Kasama ka rin sa bibigyan ng barya?" pabirong dagdag niya dahilan para bumalik sa 'kin iyong ibang kaganapan nitong mga nakaraang gabi.