Traversing with the Infinity (Sun Rays #1)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I never expected it to hurt this much. Papa, one of the people I loved and trusted the most, suddenly felt like shattered glass in my hands.

Sometimes, the deepest wounds come from the people who mean the world to us. The closer they are, the more painful it becomes. The stronger the bond, the heavier the betrayal feels. And the more we try to hold on, the more the ache burns, like a fire we never saw coming.

And now, the very fear I've been running from for so long is right in front of me again. I don't know how to cross it. I keep blaming myself for being this way. . . for feeling too much, for breaking too easily, for not knowing how to be strong when it matters the most.

I isolated myself the following morning, submerging my whole body in my bed. I could feel my eyes in maim due to crying the entire night.

I knew it was already late in the morning, but since it was Sunday, getting up at noon didn't feel so bad. The sunlight spilled through the window, its gentle warmth brushing against my face, making me close my eyes tightly.

Nang makapag-muni-muni ay kinuha ko agad ang phone ko. All I could see from its lockscreen was Jayscen's multiple messages.

Puro greetings 'yon at minsan nagse-send pa ng cute stickers and emoticons. I smiled bitterly as I opened his messages. Hindi ko maiwasang mapatulala sa phone ko habang binabasa ang mga iyon.

7:45 AM

Jayscen:

Good morning, Sunrize : )

Did you have a good sleep?

Ang ingay ni daddy, kagabi ka pa kasi namin pinag uusapan tapos ngayong umaga talak pa rin nang talak tungkol sa 'yo (｡-_-｡)

My mood lightened up at hindi ko na napigilang matawa dahil sa emoticon. I guess nandoon pa rin siya sa mansiyon nila. Na-i-imagine ko tuloy ang mukha niyang asar na asar sa Daddy niya pero pinipigilan niya lang. Parang ganoon na ganoon nga ang mukha niya!

He often sends messages like that when he feels like teasing or annoying me, using lots of emoticons and emojis. Sunod-sunod pa ang pagse-send niya sa akin ng funny GIFs at stickers. Ako naman ay sinasabayan ang trip niya kaya para kaming mga jejemon minsan.

I checked the time on my phone and it was almost ten o'clock in the morning. Hindi pa ako nag-umagahan kaya ramdam ko na ang pagkalam ng tiyan ko. Na-realize kong hindi pa pala ako nagbihis, ito pa rin ang suot ko simula kagabi kaya naligo muna ako para malinisan naman ang katawan ko. Dugyot, Rize!

Sinubukan kong sumilip nang makababa sa hagdan. I tried so hard not to get caught as I sneaked out from the house.

After what happened the previous night, I don't think I have already gathered enough courage to talk to them. . . Lalo na kay Papa.

I carried my skateboard and took the back route, knowing Lolo Kenzy would catch me if I went through the front. He couldn't see me, not now. Hindi niya dapat ako makita ngayon, at sino man sa kanila.

I had no idea where I was headed. I just knew I couldn't face them yet.

So instead of shutting myself in my room, I decided I needed to move. To do something just to keep my mind busy. I just needed a distraction, even for a little while. I just wanted to escape, kahit panandalian lang. I grabbed my skateboard and headed to Ground One. It was the only place I could think of where the noise that could drown out the thoughts I didn't want to face.

"Ymir! Anong mayroon?!" I approached when I arrived. Nakita ko si Ymir, kasama ang ibang kakilala namin na nagmamadali. Dala-dala nila ang kani-kanilang skateboard na may magagarbong custom-design. Ymir quickly halted from rushing upon seeing me. Sinalubong niya ako ng usual boyish smile niya.