Dark Poetry

Overthinking

I don't know why I change
Is it for me or for you?
Maybe you'll love me if I'm what you want
If I tell myself that enough
Then I'll be that person that you think you need
To scare all the dark away
My own thoughts tear me up inside
What a relief it must be for those who've already lost their mind
Mine's in pieces, but they're too loud to hide
Ask again, these speakers are fried
I wonder what would happen if I threw some in the sea
Would I still be me?
I have a lump in my throat thinking of you
Perhaps you love me, maybe there's someone new
Lies are empty, there's nothing more to do
But what if there's another way
To quiet my mind and make you stay
Just send me away
I wish I could blow away like powder
Sadly I've found that running just makes it louder
It was once all I seemed to do
But the feelings remain, old or new
I'll shake until I fit in my skin
My mind is cold and I'm running thin
Maybe I'll just meet you in
Another life where we could remain
Perhaps that would keep me sane
I want you to feel what I feel
Up late at night praying for light
But I don't think that's right
Why can't you just be more vocal?
Tell me that you love me or be somewhere local?
It's driving me mad,
I wish I wasn't so sad
There's nothing wrong with you, it's me
With a brain as angry as the sea
And a heart as vacant as can be
But words are just collected sounds
that don't mean a thing
I'm so dizzy from the empty hoping
Just make it go away
Turn this night into day
But sadness is just a chemical reaction
Bubbling with another addition
Without a second thought it could end
So why should I pretend?
I'm just another science experiment