To Be A Normal Kid DISCONTINUED REWRITING

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen: Memories

Waking up was a less than stellar experience. Honestly, he wanted to go back to sleep. Sleep was good. Sleep was warm and safe. The waking world was cold and cruel. If he had it his way, he'd never wake up. Never waking up meant that he could live in his dreams. Dreams where he lived his life as he wanted to. Dreams where he wasn't hiding from his past. Dreams where he and Byakuran and Yuni were still together with Xanxus and Jacob.

Sometimes those thoughts took over his head. Sometimes, his want to never wake up and live in his dreams became everything he thought about. Those were the times where he ate triple the amount of Melatonin gummies in hopes that they'd keep him asleep. He never liked those times after the fact, but he was happy about them in the moment.

But when he woke up after sleeping for so long, he remembered the little note he had neatly folded and hidden in his bedside table. He didn't remember where he'd gotten it, but he hated the idea of disappointing whoever had given it to him. Make me proud. How was he supposed to make that person proud if he slept forever?

Tsuna opened his eyes, not allowing himself to fall back into his dreams. The warmth around him didn't fade, though, so he looked around. He was laying on Xanxus who was sitting upright and leaning against the headboard. Belphegor was using his legs as a pillow and Mammon was cuddled in his arms. Levi was sitting on the floor, leaning against the foot of the bed. Squalo had taken to sprawling on the floor to the left of the bed while Lussaria was the same on the right. Luna had taken up the entire food of the bed, just behind Levi's head and just out of reach of Bel's feet. Shoichi was the only one missing from their pile, but he knew his friend was safe.

He couldn't move without disturbing Xanxus or Bel, who would then disturb Mammon, so he stayed put. They'd wake up eventually. Hopefully soon, he needed to pee. Seeing as he was stuck for a while at least, he expanded his Sky Flames. He was careful not to touch any of the others' Flames, but he wanted to make sure there was no danger nearby.

He and the Varia were in his room with Luna. Shoichi was in the kitchen. Was he cooking? Probably. He should go help, but he couldn't move without waking everyone up. The Varia, he realised, work on cat rules.

"Are you calling me a fucking cat?" Xanxus growled.

Oops. Did he say that out loud? "No?"

An amused huff. "Get off me. I'm hungry."

"I can't move."

"Why not?"

"Bel's on my legs."

"So shove him off." Xanxus took the initiative on that instead of waiting for Tsuna to do it. With a harsh shove to his shoulder, the blond fell to the floor, bringing Mammon down with him. Unfortunately, the two landed on Lussaria, resulting in all three waking up in a less than expected way. The commotion woke Squalo and Levi who both started laughing at the three. Luna was the last to react, but she decided it wasn't worth her time as he crawled to lay across Tsuna's shoulders.

"Good-d morning everyone." Tsuna smiled smally at them.

The group responded to him in different ways as they all made to stand up and get ready for the day. Bel, Mammon, and Lussaria looked like they were plotting revenge, so he couldn't help but point to Xanxus when they looked at him. The man's glare had him rushing from the room.

When he was in the safety of the kitchen, the brunet snuck up on his red haired friend and tapped his shoulder, causing him to yelp and fall out of his chair.

"What the hell was that for?" Shoichi glared, though there was no heat behind it.

"You looked to be stuck in your head." Tsuna answered as if that was a proper answer. It probably was. Shoichi said nothing as he climbed back to sit on the chair, Tsuna taking the one beside him. "Seriously, though, you're stuck in your head. What's up?"

It was quiet for a moment, then, "Why do you trust us?"

"What?"

"Why do you trust us? Why do you trust me?"

"Because you're my friend."

"You say that so easily."

"Because it's true."

"But how?"

"What do you mean?"

"How did we become friends? Why do you trust me? I could be here as an enemy. I could be ratting you out to Byakuran and Yuni, telling them where you are!"

"But you aren't."

"But I could be!"

"But you're not."

"That's not the point!" Shoichi slammed his hands down on the table. Tsuna flinched back in his seat and scooted away from the table. It was only half an inch, but it felt like miles.

Shoichi's face fell, horror in his eyes. He'd just scared Tsuna. In the time he'd known him, he'd not seen anything that could get this kind of reaction from the brunet. "Oh my god," he gasped quietly, his hands covering his mouth, "I'm so sorry, Tsuna! I-!"

"It's okay," he cut him off with a small smile. They both knew it wasn't. "I'm gonna make some food." He stood and went into the kitchen.

Normally, Tsuna was fine with reactions like that. Everyone explodes sometimes. Besides, that wasn't a trigger for him anymore. Slamming tables and chairs and doors had stopped being a trigger a few years ago. He'd come to terms with the trauma that came with those sounds and actions a while ago. It was part of the reason why he could mention so freely about where he'd grown up. What made this different?

He frowned as he set to cracking some eggs for omelettes. Why had he regressed when Shoichi hit the table? It didn't make any sense. It couldn't be because of the sound. Explosions and gunshots were becoming a common thing in Namimori, and he hadn't reacted violently to any of those. Not to mention all the times people at school had made loud noises like that.

'Could it be because it was Shoichi that had done it?' he wondered, shredding some cheese to add into his eggs. It was a plausible explanation, as well as the only one he could think of. But the question of 'why' still remained. He knew Shoichi. They were friends, after all. He'd be reluctant at first, but something drew him to the boy, just as it did with Xanxus and the Varia. He knows what his friends do. He knows they're dangerous. But he also knows that they wouldn't hurt him on purpose. The next step was to cut up and add green onions.

Some deep thinking on the matter led Tsuna to a fuzzy, basically not there memory. He was in an office of some sort with a man with silver hair. He remembered a chair falling to the floor. He remembered flinching then, too. But he couldn't remember anything else. That's two cases outside the lab he's flinched for a loud noise.

No. There were three cases of this happening. A gunshot, he remembered. A tall man with a hat - Hat Guy? - shot a gun. He didn't shot Tsuna or the silver haired man, but he shot- he shot something and it scared-

"Tsuna?" Xanxus asked carefully, "Are you alright?"

"I-" Was he? No. His head hurt a lot. What was he thinking about? "I'm fine."

Xanxus frowned. "Are you sure?"

Tsuna nodded, turning off the stove and moving to take the omelettes to the table for everyone to eat. "Yeah."