Before I Fall

The Decision

Trigger warnings: Drug addiction, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts

Please let me know if I've missed anything triggering.

Enjoy 💗

_______________________________

Until I decided....

Travis's POV:
I was very very skeptical about leaving Y/N's room. Something's not right.

These thoughts keep circling my brain as I'm getting ready for bed.

I can't just leave her, I have to check on her at least once more.

However, I'm beaten to it, by a wide-eyed Y/N stumbling into my room.

"Jesus Y/N, what happened?" I questioned, slightly frightened.

"I uhm.. i..." She started, but was cut off by her ragged and short breaths.

"Ok sweetheart I need you to breathe for me, one big deep breath in, and then we let it go, yeah?" I tried exaggerating my breaths for her, but it was to no avail.

Y/N's POV:
With shaking hands, I let go of the little baggie: I couldn't do it, not again.

I couldn't do that to Travis.

I need to try.

I need to get better; if not for myself, for Trav.

Swiftly, I stood up off my bed, instantly being hit with a wave of dizziness. However, I waved it off, thinking it was withdrawal symptoms of something.

Haphazardly, I dragged myself out of my room and into Travis's.

He instantly looked up, concern written all over his face.

I watched as his mouth moved, however, the ringing in my ears blocked out all audible sounds.

Suddenly, I felt my chest start to tighten and the numb tingly feeling in my hands.

Once again, I attempted to make out what Travis was saying, but I was far too worked up now.

Travis's POV:
Y/N had really worked herself up now; nothing was helping her.

"Bumblebee, you need to listen to me, ok?" I stated firmly, "I need you to copy my breaths."

By now I had pulled her head to rest on my chest so she could feel my heart beat.

After many minutes passed leisurely, I felt Y/N's breathing slow.

"That's it sweetheart, stay with me."

Carefully, I lowered us onto the floor, from our standing position, so that her weight was resting on my side.

"You ready to tell me what happened?" I asked cautiously.

"I need you to go into my room, and get rid of the pills now," she stated, her voice shaking as she did so.

"What pills?"

"The pills. Get rid of them. All of them."

"Ok I will bumblebee, why don't you get yourself comfortable in my bed, and we can watch a film?" I suggested.

Y/N just shrugs, but lifts herself off of the floor.

Once I knew that she was settled in my bed, I hurriedly ran to her room, and found a little bag of pills.

"Fucking hell Y/N," I sighed to myself.

I seriously needed to have this talk with her sooner rather than later.

Quickly, I went to the bathroom and disposed of the pills down the toilet.

Y/N's POV:
I fucked up. Really bad. I knew it as soon as I saw the look on Travis's face.

He'll probably get sick of me just like my parents did; he'll want to get rid of me too.

I tried to stop thinking these thoughts by watching a film, but my mind was all over the place. I felt a dull ache behind my eyes, and all I craved was those silly little pills: stupid withdrawal.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't focus on anything, all I could think about was how I could've been dead by now: I could've been at peace.

Shortly after the thoughts started again, they settled as I felt myself start drifting off.

Travis's POV:
After disposing of the pills, I dropped Amelia a brief message, asking her to pop round tomorrow so we could have the talk with Y/N.

Initially, I wanted to wait, however after tonight, this couldn't wait any longer. My sister could've been dead by now, for all I know: but for real this time.

Almost silently, I crept back into my bedroom to be met with the sight of my baby sister soundly asleep.

Subconsciously, I breathed a sigh of relief.

She's safe.

I quickly rushed to get myself ready for bed, not being able to bear being away from Y/N for too long.

Without disturbing Y/N, I managed to slip into bed beside her.

However, I couldn't sleep; I had to keep an eye on her.

What if I woke up and she had done something to herself? It would definitely be my fault then.

So that's how I found myself barely awake with, heavy eyes, at 8am.

I didn't sleep a wink because I was terrified of waking up and my sister being dead.

When I realised the time, I sighed thinking I was definitely not getting any sleep now.

Rolling over, I picked up my phone to see a message from Amelia.

It read: "Oh that poor girl can't catch a break, I'll be over at 9."

I jumped out of bed, realising I only had so much time until she'd be here.

I took one more look at Y/N to reassure myself that she was ok, before walking into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

And to prepare myself for this talk later; what am I even supposed to say to her?

Author's note:
Hey lovelies, sorry it's been a while.

Sorry for the excessive perspective changes in this chapter, I just thought it was important to show both side of mental health and an addiction. As I wanted to show more awareness and appreciation to how exhausting it can be to help someone with their struggles whilst also trying to care for your needs too.

Please, if you are struggling, reach out and find help.

Please let me know if any of yous have any suggestions for the story.

Thank you for reading
💞