👵Gran Review👵 (Temporarily Closed)

#R2 Ratneshwari

👵》Cover

The cover isn't really appealing, but considering that it is a love story between two people I think having them both on the cover would be better, and highlight the character's personality. Ratneshwari posture / body language could be blushing and turn her face away from him or something.

👵》Title
The title is okay, it's a story about Ratneshwari mainly.

👵》Blurb/Story Description 
The blurb is okay, it doesn't really hook me much, basically it is a story about interpersonal relationship between husband and wife but not much else. Feels like there is not enough tension from the blurb to really want to make me read it.

👵》World

There is a lack of setting so it is hard for me to imagine the scene / world of the story. Instead of saying it was a sunny day, you can describe Ratneshwari reading the book in her room, and that sunlight filters through her window and casts a glow across the pages of her book, or casting heat on her hand or something. Then she looks out to see the clear blue sky that has no clouds, you get the idea. Show don't tell.

👵》Plot & Conflict 
As far as plot goes, I think you started it in the right spot close enough to the inciting incident. But the story just doesn't have a strong enough hook, I think having more weight on the plot would be great. I don't really know the full depth of your story yet as I only read the early part so this is just what I get from what I read, a stronger blurb might have made me read more but right now not yet.

👵》Characters
Personally I don't like detailed descriptions and prefer to have an idea of how they look with room for imagination, so to me the characters are described well enough.

But the personality of the character would be better shown not told, instead of telling readers they are shy instead show it through action / introspection. For example, Her heart beat faster than usual, the words refused to leave her throat but she forced it out. "My name is Ratneshwari." Her voice barely whispers, and she averted her gaze immediately.

Something like that, you could do more with it but that's what crossed my mind.

👵》Enjoyment/Engagement 

There is a lot of backstory early on that I believe would be better if weaved slowly through the narrative instead of just a wall of text telling readers about the character, and there is a lack of visual that it is hard to be immersed into the world so you should work on painting the scenes where the story is taking place. As it is, it feels like I am just reading a bunch of dialogues.