👵Gran Review👵 (Temporarily Closed)

#11 In Huck's Hands

👵》Cover / Title
In Huck's hands, everything's up to the main character I am expecting. And the cover is two characters so I am guessing one of them is Huck and the other is the antagonist? Crown on a skull aligns with the blurb, it gives the image of dead royals (Royal blood being spilled).

👵》Blurb/Story Description
The blurb provides enough information on the main character, his circumstance and the story. It sets the goal of the main character, hints of the upcoming conflict but I think you'd do well to find a strong hook. And though it gives an idea of what the story is about, it is still vague for my liking, specific plot and without spoilers is the best way imo.

👵》World
I think the story could use visual backdrop, I know there are stories that don't start with setting the scenes but they reveal the backdrop slowly as the scene plays out, and you did write some visual backdrop like the huts on the side of the road and blue sky but I think you could describe them more. The story feels visually "empty" in my head at the moment.

So yeah. Set up a visual backdrop of each scene.

👵》Plot & Conflict
You started the plot immediately, introduced the characters and a little twist to start off the story which is a nice touch but after that there seems to be a lack of tension in the story. It got very slow with the exposition and backstory where tension and stakes should be rising. It feels like I am reading a story about Huck and Aiko instead of the war for a moment there. Which is okay if the blurb aligns with that kind of story but right now it feels like a bait and switch.

👵》Characters
The characters' appearances are introduced slowly and creatively through the narrative which is good, but I think you could be more descriptive. I like how you show other characters' emotions through character introspection, I haven't read someone showing emotion like that IIRC.

👵》Enjoyment/Engagement
I think some of the words could be simpler because I don't really understand what some mean (psychosomatic). I could definitely work on editing the writing a bit for better flow because it feels a bit weird sometimes, or complicated.

It starts off well though it could use more editing, simpler words and better sentence structures for easier reading. A good start that fails to maintain engagement, good luck in your writing journey!