👵Gran Review👵 (Temporarily Closed)

#R38 Against the Dark

👵》Cover / Title

It has a nice cover, and the title fits the story and characters considering it is about fighting a rising dark force and also chasing their own demons away. 

👵》Blurb/Story Description
The blurb is good, though it does feel a bit lengthy, it'd be great if you could find a way to make it more concise. But it is okay as it is. The characters and their situation are established, as is the obstacles and stakes.

👵》World
I would say the world was introduced well, early on it is established how much the aftermath of a battle caused grief to the characters. And the ending of the world is a nice contrast to the grim start, I like the bit with the rising sun and hope. The story could use a bit of visual backdrop I feel.

As it is I can imagine bits and pieces of the scene you are writing but without the background, I think it would help the story be more immersive if you describe the immediate surrounding of the scenes the characters are in. Personally it feels kind of empty at the moment.

👵》Plot & Conflict
The characters and their dynamics are introduced early, but I think it would be better to start closer to the plot and introduce the characters there, but maybe it's just my impatience. I like stories that kick off immediately, so maybe the pacing isn't actually slow but to me it feels that way. 

👵》Characters
Characters are introduced and described well, appearances and movement wise, and I can clearly get a sense of the MC's personality through their thoughts. Even the tone and vibe of the characters, so I think the characters are well done but how, when and where the characters are introduced could be better placed. 

I do feel the contrast between Hermione's more warm setting to Draco's sorrowful feel though.

👵》Enjoyment/Engagement

The story is good enough I feel, could use more showing in certain scenes to really immerse readers into it because it feels like currently there is a lot of telling. And I think it would be better to start the story closer to the plot because by chapter three the plot hasn't started yet. Went in to read about friendship and budding romance between the two MCs but there wasn't even any interaction between them early on. 😂