👵Gran Review👵 (Temporarily Closed)

#R30 Threads

👵》Cover / Title
I think the cover could be made better, and I am not sure about the title either? What image do you hope to create with the title? Does it relate to the plot? Nothing pops up in my head reading the title, and even looking at the cover I have no idea what to expect from the story.

👵》Blurb/Story Description
I think the blurb needs more information on the characters, and situation, it feels too short that it does too little. Personally, I use the title, cover and blurb to decide if I want to read the story...none of them are currently generating any interest let alone hook me into the story.

👵》World
Could use more scene building, the story does lack setting when I read it, there is no sense of place. It is important in my opinion to have a visual backdrop, in the scene, is it nighttime or daytime? What does the kitchen look like? Is it a small kitchen? A fancy kitchen? Even someone's kitchen could paint their backstory.

👵》Plot & Conflict
-Didn't get to the plot

👵》Characters
You describe the character movements, painting the scene with body language, actions and reactions which is good but description of the characters would be nice as well. You have the right ideas about it but definitely need polishing.

👵》Enjoyment/EngagementI think you need to work on your english better because it's really hard to enjoy when engagement is broken by wrong phrasing, misspelling and well, let's just say poor english. I am sorry, there really is just not much to say considering I couldn't even punch through the first few paragraphs of the story.