a 21st century lover

My Forever

"My Forever" - September 10, 2023

 Spring blooms at her touch. The sky focuses its spotlight on her whenever she walks by. The center of the universe that she is. Her hands so warm it feels nostalgic and comforting every time I hold them. Smiling so brightly that I can't even stand up straight. Our conversations are filled with nothing but nonsense and random, erratic noises. Even when she cringes or makes a face, I cannot help but admire how beautiful it is. It's just everything about her. Rain or shine. Night or day. Spring or winter. All that occupies my mind is her, and I wish for nothing but more of her. 24/7. 365 days. 7 days a week. None compare to how much I want to give myself to her. I want to stand by her side. Become the one she sees every time she opens and closes her eyes. The first person she smiles at and says good morning to. This life isn't even enough time for me to be with her. How cruel God and Death are to force us apart one day. The lengths I would go to extend even just one more second to stay with her. Words, at this point, have failed me in expressing how much this girl means to me. Devotion. Love. Obsession. Worship. I can do it all and more for her. Her. Only her. No one exists in my eyes aside from her. She's not just some ordinary girl. She is my maiden. The muse of my life. The moment she disappears from my life is when the Earth crumbles onto itself. I'd fight wars for her. No matter what, I will come home to her. I will run, limp, hop, or crawl my way back. On my deathbed, I will utter no words except her name because I want those to be the last words I speak before I'm pulled away from her. Even then, I will fight fate and destiny so that I can somehow continue loving her in my next life.

Call me a hopeless romantic. Joke around how I want a K-drama kind of love. Okay, so? You're right. Everything you said is what I want with her. She is the only person I can never allow myself to abandon. No, we don't owe anything to each other. This is simply because I am wholeheartedly hers to belong to. That is my desire. She makes everything better whenever we laugh, cry, smile, and sit in silence. I became not myself but someone I wanted to be. I became happy and in love. I would traverse as many lives as possible to have her in my embrace. She is worth an infinite number of my lives. Even if I died a gruesome or horrible death in every life, I would not mind it as long as I am promised we just meet once more. And another. And another after that. And so on.

But even if I devote everything I was, am, and will ever be to her, I cannot ask the same of her. I can become nothing but a stranger to her. Someone who could have had all of her love but lost everything. She may not even know that I exist, to begin with. With those thoughts, I still don't mind at all. She is my hope. She is worth all of my time and attention. She is someone I follow into death for. She is...my forever.