a 21st century lover

who knew the end could be so beautiful

who knew the end could be so beautiful - January 12, 2024

End of day. The story closes. The day has gone into the night. The dark, empty sky is what is left for me to set my eyes upon. Do I miss the days of old? Did the moments I could stare at you through the screen bring me the most joy of the day? Do I wish we could move Heaven and Earth to fit our little world? Yes. Absolutely. Positively yes without hesitation. Yet, now, it wasn't meant to be. We've had our ups and downs and moments where we each pretended that we were better off away from each other. But, we still found a way back to each other. It wasn't exactly what I wanted but I thanked God that my prayer was answered in a way. Even if we are not what we want to be to each other, I am content as your biggest supporter and friend. Best friend, if I might say. From there on, we officially set aside our past expectations and memories to make way for new and better memories, both with and without each other. I get that you were worried about how I would be when you asked what our relationship was and if I was fine with letting you go to find someone. If I were the same person as last year, HELL NO. Now, after maturing and giving you an opportunity to be a part of my life, I'm ok with you with someone else and not my significant other. I'd be lying if I said I was fully supportive because I am clingy, possessive, and obviously a romantic for those I really felt a connection to. Still, it's a learning process because what trumps those thoughts and feelings is my desire to see you live a fruitful life. I aim to still be a vital part of that future with you. I might not be the groom at your wedding, but being the ring bearer, flower girl, or male bridesmaid is still an option. I am happy for you. I really am. When I looked at us, I would've seen nothing but black in the sky. Now that I have the whole picture with you, I see greatness. I see the stars sprinkled in almost microscopic drops. Fireworks fire off and illuminate the grand black with rainbows of colors and lights. The smoke and clouds fluttering around. (I know that the majority of that smoke is from you smoking weed or vaping. I stalk your profile and see all. Better quit soon or you'll never hear the end of it from me). Despite all that nonsense and whatnot, what I want to tell you is that I'm proud of you and honored to be by your side again. I'm not much of a gift giver as you are, and I can't exactly express how much you mean to me through physical contact (HUGS! I was referring to hugs...). Despite that, I want to write this letter and dedicate it to you for bringing me back into a world where I can count on you and you on me whenever things are tough. I pray that my words resonate with you and show how much you mean to me in this world. This marks the end of an era. But even if the end comes, there are countless beginnings I am looking forward to with you. And with each ending, I will always feel gratitude for you for being a part of my life. The end can be beautiful so long as you appreciate those who come to see it with you. Like the end of an old year, I cannot wait for this new magical beginning to unfold for the both of us.