a 21st century lover

Which That Divides Us

Which That Divides Us - October 5, 2023

Blazes fly when we shoot our bullets. Each shot is missed by a hair but the fear strikes us. Bullseye. How can we commit ourselves to it? It is not for the fear of death that we cannot bear to strike each other down. It is the fear of living without each other that keeps us alive. How is it that I can live without you? Tell me. How is it that we felt so ready to pull the trigger but our aim points us elsewhere? The smoke fills the air, acting as if we're lost in the fog. The scent reminds me of ash and burning incense. Our senses impaired and the sight of each other lost. Nothing feels real nor does it seem right. I no longer recognize where I am or what I hold in my hand. The smoking gun drops to the floor and the smoke smothers me into itself. I tear up and cough and fall to the floor. Everything is hazy. My hands and body warped in this dark space. A blast fires and lights up the room for a brief second. A quick woosh flies by my ears. For that millisecond, I saw you. Standing still, I wait for the next burst of light to steal a glimpse of you. Then, you fire the next one. Yet, as quick as the flash came and went, I felt a burning sensation in my leg. A scream arises out of my soul and cries for you. After my cries, there came another 3 shots. All hit their targets as my body writhes in pain and fire. Still, I lay down with a smile as her steps came closer and closer. I finally saw her emerge from the smoke wall that shielded my eyes. And in between her and I was now the barrel of a gun. Her face smiling, clenching her heart on her bloodied shirt. My smile instantly vanished while her face gleamed with a crying smile. I realized I did not miss it but that it was time for us to be reunited again. Maybe in a new life. But in this life, I wear my smile once more crying as one final blast of light fires and both of us fall lifeless together.