Ymir's Necklace: The Secret You Hold | Levi x Reader

Regret

YOUR POV

The next morning you woke up suddenly. You could feel your body covered in cold sweat, even through the morning chill. As you slowly awoke, you began feeling Levi's body next to yours, but you couldn't feel his usual warmth. Your body was placed opposite to him and you were not facing him, but somehow you knew he was awake.

Your mind couldn't help but drift into obsessive thoughts as you gained awareness. Even if you rationally understood why he didn't tell you about Eren, a part of you didn't comprehend why he wouldn't trust you enough to share that with you. Was he really trying to protect you? Or was he just trying to protect himself? You felt somewhat guilty of suspecting the latter, but you couldn't help but wonder if he had ommitted this information just to push you away.

You deeply wanted to make him understand you weren't weak, that whatever your dream and your pendant meant, whatever all that sleepwalking shit show was, you were strong enough to face it. Head on. Because that is who you were as a person - that is who you had always being.

You were not someone to run away from their problems - although you had to admit to yourself, you had always felt scared. You did things terrified. You had lived your whole life in fear: it moved you, it kept you in motion. And it allowed you to survive. However, Paradis and the outside world had been your limit. You had never challenged yourself to see what existed outside Marley. Why was that? You asked yourself in your head.

Yet, your mind continued to silently wonder about Levi: even if it was himself that he was trying to protect - could you really blame him? He wouldn't dare to tell you upfront, but you knew just how many people he had lost before he met you. Gabi had confessed that to you days before. She just couldn't bring herself to go into detail. But no matter how strong and resilient he remained, humanity's strongest soldier was a human after all.

However, suddenly ignoring you and marking his distance wouldn't make you disappear - it wouldn't erase the kisses, the soft touches against your skin, the violent craving that possessed you both, magnetizing you to each other. Pretending he didn't feel for you anymore wouldn't make you just go away. It just hurt you. It was subtle, yet not feeling his body close to yours, not feeling his lips for days... you couldn't help but succumb to your fear: maybe his feelings had truly changed. Maybe he wasn't pretending not to feel for you. Maybe he just didn't any longer. You felt truly lost and confused.

While you continued to ruminate, you felt his cold hand reach your arm, softly pressing itself onto your skin. You startled, confusion overtook your thoughts quickly. Silence continued to invade the space between the two of you. You couldn't tell if it was pride or disappointment that kept you from speaking up. Maybe it was both. Part of you hoped Levi would say something, anything. But silence won the war.

Seconds went by and you abruptly stood from the bed, parting from his touch and quickly dressing yourself up, then tidying up your messy hair. Levi looked at you while you moved, following you with his heavy gaze. He remained silent.

'I'm going to get some fresh air, do you need anything?', coldness emerged from your lips. You didn't like the sound of your own voice right then.

'No', he muttered. He inspected you with a slight frown, as if he was trying to read you. You escaped the tent, shrugging as you felt a stinging sensation building in your eyes. As you walked across the silent camp, you felt a deep pressure inside your throat.

It had been ages since you felt like this...so useless to a situation. Were you on your own now? To discover whatever the hell your dream was about? You held your pendant tight and cursed at it silently in your head, feeling as if a strong force was dictating your life. You wanted to rip it off your neck and scream, you ached to feel the liberating feeling your naked neck for once. You'd been a slave to this misterious red stone for so long.