Admiring From Afar (BkDk)

9 - 'Hollow'

"So how do you feel 'cause I feel
Hollow
This hurts so loud
Further than down
You left me
Hollow
Are you happy now?
I hope you're happy now"

Deku POV
*last day of 3rd year middle school*

I wake up feeling refreshed somehow. This year was a whirlwind of emotions if I'm being honest and I'm still unsure how to feel about it. A lot happened and I still have to carry on I guess. I sigh as I roll out of bed and begin getting ready for the day. I throw on my uniform, brush my teeth, and put on socks and shoes before heading out the door.

I start my walk to school and happen to run into Aku right before class. She grabs my arm and I wince as she pulls me into an empty classroom.

"What's wrong with your arm." She says as she raises it and stares. My eyes widen and my breath hitches as she pulls up the sleeve. She looks for a second and then stares at me.

"There's nothing there, why the hell did it hurt when I grabbed your arm." She said in a semi-annoyed voice. I guess since none of them were bleeding or scabbed, you can't really see them in a dark room. Thank god for that.

"It's just bruised, no big deal. But why are we here?" I brush it off and change the subject.

"I just miss you." She says with a sigh as she connects our hands. I look at her with a surprised face as she frowns.

"That's kinda on you, isn't it?" I say in a cold tone. She abandoned me, how else am I supposed to feel. She then looked at me with a teary eyed face.

"Why are you being mean to me?" She says through a quiet sob. I sigh as she holds my hand tightly.

"You left me alone, how else did you think I would treat you after that." I lectured her as she continued to cry. I felt bad but she hurt me, just like everyone else.

"Katsuki abandoned you too and you wrote a fucking love poem for him!" She yelled at me as she pulled her hand away. I freeze in place as she glared at me.

"What are you talking about?" I try to play dumb but she just shakes her head in annoyance. She then  pulls a piece of crumbled paper from her pocket and slams it against my chest. I look at it and realize it's the poem I wrote during my 2nd year of middle school, that was ages ago.

"Where did you get this?" I asked her in a quiet voice. Shock was still coursing through my bones.

"From my dumb brother's room, where else?" She scoffed. Why...why did he keep it all this time? Did he know it was about him, if so, why didn't he or anyone never tease me about that.

"When did you find this?" I ask her as I stare at the old piece of paper.

"Yesterday, why? When did you write it?" She asked in annoyed voice.

"2nd year of middle school." I answer quietly and she looks surprised as holy hell.

"What...?" She whispers. Her lip trembles as she crosses her arms.

"How the fuck did you have a crush on him when you bullied you relentlessly!?!" She screams as I freeze in place. Fear creeps into my mind, what if someone hears her? I grab her hand for her to be quiet and she seems to get the message.

"I-I...don't know." I mumble silently but she hears me anyway. She curses under her breath as she continues to glare at me. I stare at the floor quietly in response.

"What the hell is going on in here?" I hear a familiar voice call out as the door opens and shuts. I freeze in fear when I realize who just walked into the room as the lights get turned on.

"Does he even know it's about him?" She questions as Kacchan raises a brow. This time I glare at her to be silent and she rolls her eyes.

"Are you two idiots dating or some shit, why the fuck are you holding hands?" Kacchan glares at his sister who only gives him a mocking smile.

"What do you care brother?" Aku rolls her eyes at her brother as I don't say a word. He then seems to see a piece of paper in my hand and he seems to figure out what it is.

"Why the hell do you have that damn nerd!" He yells as he charges at me. I yelp as he tackles me to the ground. He pins me down by holding his hands on my arms and sits on me. I wince loudly when he makes contact with my left arm. He looks almost curious as I watch Aku leave the room in a huff.

"Please...let go." I hiss at him and he rolls his eyes at me.

"Stop being a crybaby. I didn't even hurt your god damn arm today." He yells at me as I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my teeth. He then grabs my left arm tighter and I yell out in pain.

"What the hell is your problem?" He yells as he then looks at my arm. My eyes widen as he begins to roll up the sleeve as I begin to thrash to stop him. It does no good as he is stronger than me.

"What the fuck..." I hear him mumble almost incoherently. Dammit...he saw. I feel his hands release my arms and I sit up. His face seems almost frozen as he continues to stare at my arm silently. I've never heard him be this quiet. Why is he acting like this?

"What the hell did you do." He whispers almost silently.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!?" He yells at and I flinch and cover my face with my arms. He grabs my arm and holds it up as he makes eye contact.

"Why do you care?" I mumble quietly under my breath as I turn my head to the side to avoid his gaze.

"Why...why did you do that to yourself? Give me one good fucking reason why?" I can feel his eyes staring daggers at me as I look at the floor.

He puts his hand on my chin and quickly turns my face. "LOOK AT ME!" He screams. My eyes widen as I feel tears threaten my eyes.

"Just leave me alone." I mumble back to him.

"Please...Deku...why?" He says softly through a cracked voice as I remain silent again. After a couple minutes I finally answer him.

"I don't know...it felt- good." I answer honestly. He looks upset at my answer.

"How could you do this to yourself." He whispers.

"How could you do this to me." I saying pointing to my black eye. He gulps rather loudly and my eyes widen as I notice a single tear drop leaving his eye.

"What happened to our promises, that we'd be best friends forever. Or how about when you said you would always protect me. What about being heroes together. It all turned out to be nothing but childish bullshit." I say to him with bitterness in my voice. He looks shocked at my boldness but says nothing.

"Now get off me." I sternly.

"No."

"What the hell do you mean no, what are-" My eyes widen when I realize what he's doing.

He's hugging me.

I gasp softly as he holds me tightly. Tears stream down my face as I hug him back. I have no clue what's happening but I don't think I want it to end. I smile to myself as I'm held in his arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for everything. I was an asshole to you the entirety of middle school. I was too ashamed to accept you knowing you were stronger than me. Because I've known that for the longest time. I bullied you in hopes that you'd disappear. And this doesn't change anything, but it's how I feel. Izuku, I'm sorry for everything I've done up until now."

"So all it takes for you to apologize is to realize that I hurt myself because of you, what the fuck is wrong with you!" I scream at him. He looks surprised but ashamed at the same time.

"I-I don't know." He whispers.

I just continue to sob in his arms as he holds me gently. Almost everything I've wished for has finally come true. It's a miracle. I've gotten a quirk, Kacchan apologized, Aku wants to be friends again, I met All Might.

I'm scared for what happens next to be honest.