Admiring From Afar (BkDk)

6 - 'Outdoor Pool'

"I'm just fifteen, I just want you so that's cool"

Deku POV
Aku has bleached hair that looks like her brothers and Kacchan has a rugby sweatshirt on the next day in school. I sit through chemistry class staring at him, we're only two seats away from each other.

He'll be the first boy with a driver's license in our school once his birthday passes. I heard he's gonna get a car with his sister.

I let out a sigh as the bell rings and I watch him leave the room. I follow right behind Aku out of the room and to the hallway.

I scratch and pick at my arm until I feel it start to bleed. I didn't even mean to do that. I hurriedly head to the bathroom to wash out the blood from my skin. I scrub and scrub as my skin turns red from irritation, but it finally stops bleeding. I wrap it up with paper towels and then once it's dry, I pull my sleeve back down. I head out of the bathroom and toward my next class.

Today is going to be miserable, I just know it.

After school, I head to the super market with my mom. I look around in the vegetable aisle before I notice someone familiar. It's Kacchan and his mom. I stare in awe at him from afar as he doesn't seem to notice me.

"A little obsessed, aren't you?" My mom jokes as I blush and turn away. I can't help but keep staring at him through the corner of my eye though. My eyes follow him around the whole store for an hour before he finally leaves. I couldn't help but feel a little sad to see him go. I don't think we're friends anymore but I hate to not be with him. I can't let him go.

When I finally get home, I head to my room immediately. I take off my makeup to hide the scarring on my face as I let out a sigh. This life is hopeless. Suddenly, my phone buzzes, something it never does when I'm home with my mom.

It's a text...from Kacchan.

'Nerd, you wanna come out?' It reads.

It's a Wednesday night, maybe I shouldn't. I let a sigh before I finally text back agreeing to meet up with him. He sends me a location and I quickly get ready. I throw on my swimsuit as he instructed and a coverup. I grab my bag with my phone and such as I go to ask my mom. She squeals excitedly as we get in the car and she drives me to the community center.

We go swimming in the outdoor pool. I sit more in the side of the pool as he stands in front of me. I kick my feet softly in the water. He stares into my eyes but says nothing. It's almost skins if my eyes stay shut. But I don't really swim and I don't think he doesn't really want me.

He steps closer to me as he puts his hand on my face. His body is between my legs as I stare at his face. Then his hand as he pulls me close to him. He brings our lips together and I feel sparks ignite in my body as they move against each other softly.

He tastes sweet, like caramel. I can't help but melt into the kiss as he holds my face gently in his hand. When we finally pull apart, he just stares at me. I check the time at the clock behind him to see that it's just after midnight. I take a shaky breath as he pulls his hand away from my face and goes back to swimming around. I remain rather shocked on the side of the pool with my feet kicking the water.

I can't help but fall for him all over again.

Maybe this is where he changes. Maybe this is when he'll stop hurting me. Maybe this is when I'll stop hurting myself.

He then got out of the pool and began to dry off as he again said nothing. How could he kiss me and then act like this, it's so strange. But it doesn't matter. He clearly likes me and that's all that really matters now I guess.

I make it back home as a dreamy smile flows onto my face. I can't help but flush red as I shower, thinking about the kiss we shared. I get dressed into pajamas and the thought of him on my lips still doesn't leave my mind. I can't stop thinking about him.

I make it to school the next day with a smile on my face for the first time in awhile. Hoping he feels the same.
I wave to him in the hallway but he ignores me. So that's how it's gonna be, huh?

Later in class I try to talk to him. He shoos me away, even when I try to bring up last night. His friends tease me saying I'm delusional and attention seeking if I believe that he would ever hang out with me. So he didn't tell them anything, so be it. I'm just fifteen, I just want him, so that's cool.

Then I hear by the chemistry lockers, one of his goons caught him kissing the French exchange. Is she gonna be his girlfriend? Guess I misunderstood last night. I overthought it too much. I run out of the room and toward the bathroom. It's the worst day of my life but it's all good.

Where did I go wrong? I'm sobbing and it's ruining my makeup. I try to wipe the tears but they just keep coming. I then scratch at my arms again until they bleed. I smile to myself before I sigh. I wash off the blood as I snap back to reality.

Last night was supposed to my magical. But I didn't swim and he's not in love. And he only kissed me when it was past midnight in an outdoor pool.

I really thought it was gonna be us together this summer. That'd maybe we'd be a couple and dress up on Halloween. Maybe we'd go on dates to the movie. Anything to spend time with each other. But I'm still in that movie.

When we went swimming in an outdoor pool and he didn't tell a soul at school. I was fifteen, now I'm fifteen and an idiot and a fool. We were almost skin in skin if I close my eyes but I didn't swim with him and he's clearly not in love. And he only kissed me, once. But nothing ever changed.

When he kissed me, after midnight, in an outdoor pool.