Admiring From Afar (BkDk)

20 - 'This Is On You'

"Who gave it all and held you up
When nobody else gave a fuck?
Who bailed you out?
That was all me
Who was your biggest fan and oldest friend?
Your steady hand, you traded in
Still stuck around
Well, that was all me
But this is on you"

Bakugou POV
"So, what do you want Kacchan?" He glares at me as he speaks.

"I want to apologize." I say truthfully.

"For what, exactly?" His tone is cold and distant.

"For what I said to you the other night, I didn't mean it." I let out a sigh as he stares me down.

"Then why the heck did you say it?" He raises his voice a bit at me.

"Because you can't know the truth!" I yell back. He seems surprised at my outburst.

"And what is the truth?" He scoffs at me as I clench my teeth.

"That I'm fucking in love with you." I shout with my head in my hands. I hear a small gasp from the boy standing in front of me.

"...what?" He whispers.

"There...I said it." I mutter as I cross my arms and look away from him.

"Are you screwing with me?" I can feel him still glaring at me.

"I wish." I mumble.

"Why are you in love with me- how...?" He mutters to himself in shock.

"I don't fucking know to be honest." I say as I hesitantly meet his gaze.

"After all this time...you were in love with me?" He whispers to himself as I let out a sigh.

"Yeah..." I respond quietly.

"What are you expecting me to say to that?" He says in a confused voice  as my hands turn into fists.

"No clue." I say honestly.

"After all those years of tormenting me, you were in love with me?" I nod. He still seems to be surprised. He takes a deep breath before speaking again. This time his voice is laced with malice and hatred.

"Like hell I would ever like a stupid bully like you. You're not even close to being good enough for me. Keep daydreaming." A small gasp escaped my mouth at his words.

Isn't that what...oh god.

"That's what I said when you confessed to me." I whisper as he avoids my gaze. How could I be so stupid to tell him knowing he would reject me.

"Karma's a bitch, huh?" He laughs as I just stare at him.

"Yeah...I guess it is." I mutter as I feel like fucking crying.

"I knew one day you were gonna eat your words but I never expected it to be like this." He says with an almost smile. I bit my lip to prevent saying anything more.

If only I was aware of my feelings sooner...we could've been together. I could've spared him so much hurt. But...it's too late.

"I am sorry." I looked up at him in surprise at his statement.

"I'm sorry this is how it has to be." He whispers as he crosses his arms and leans against the wall.

"Why! Why does it have to be this way?" I yell at him as he sighs.

"Because, I've moved on from you." He responds hesitantly.

"Have you though?" His eyes widen at my question.

"What are you saying." He scoffs at me as I take a deep breath.

"You still follow me around, you still fucking talk to me." He clenches his teeth.

"That was a mistake." My mouth hangs open but nothing comes out.

"You don't mean that..." I whisper in hope.

"What the hell has my sister done to you!" I yell at him once again.

"Nothing! Unlike you!" He yells back. I grit my teeth in annoyance.

"She's manipulating you, how can you not see it!?" I shout as he just gets more furious.

"The only person I'm being manipulated by is you!"

"The only thing I've ever done is care about you and this is how you treat me?" He says as tears starts to roll down his face.

"I loved you our entire childhood and you only saw me a nuisance." He scoffs at me when a single tear left my eye.

"I-"

"No, you don't get to talk."

"I've always been there for you and you've always treated me like crap. Nothing ever changes with you. You apologize but your behavior stays the same. You don't actually feel sorry. You just are sad that the one person who ever truly loved and cared about you is gone. You only push me around but when I finally leave you want me back. I'm not gonna be your personal punching bag anymore." He shouts at me as another tear leaves my eye. He takes a deep breath to calm himself.

"I'm sorry." I whisper as he continues to sob.

"No you aren't." He whispers back. I take a step toward him as he glares at me. When I pull him into a hug, he struggles to get away. He starts to punch my chest to separate the embrace. But he eventually accepts it as he cries into my shoulder.

"I am truly sorry Izuku."

"I pushed you away because your strength felt threatening to me as a kid. But now that I'm older I see my own weakness. You were never the problem, I was and have always been the mistake in our relationship. I never hated you, I hated how much you cared about me no matter what I did. You were only going to be hurt by the world and I just couldn't accept that." I take a deep breath before continuing. "So hear me when say this, I love you. And I will always love you, even if I don't know how to show it. I hope to learn, from you." I whisper into his ear as he gasps softly.

"You mean that?" He whispers back.

"I do, believe me, I mean it Izuku." I say as he pulls away from my shoulder to look me in the eyes. I smile at him as he cries harder. I smile at him as he speaks.

"You were an experience." He stares into my eyes as I can tell he's hiding a smile.

"You were...everything."