The backstage was my home.
Her understudy my job
Her devotee my calling
Her shadow my being
I didn't mind.
I was contented.
I was contented.
Contented to worship.
Contented to follow.
Contented to spectate.
Contented to admire.
I was contented but that was a lie.
I thought I was contented but I wasn’t.
Deep down jealousy grew.
Deep down inferiority grew.
I ignored it, I suppressed it.
It didn't matter after all for I was hers
I belonged to her, and she just saw me so who cared about those feelings.
I told myself that for years.
So, the monster of inferiority remained hidden.
As did the monster of jealousy.
The monsters remained hidden.
For Idolisation hid inferiority
And love hid jealousy.
All was right in the world.
Then things changed
She found a lover.
I was no longer the only person she saw.
Insecurity reared its ugly head.
It’s okay, it's fine.
She's still a goddess I said.
Thus, I pushed the demon away.
I thought that would be the last change but as I saw her bear her heart to her lover.
The goddess mask fell away.
She was no goddess.
She was simply a human with superior skills.
Idolisation no longer held inferiority.
Love no longer held jealousy.
Love no longer held jealousy but love was there.
True Love not diluted by idolisation.
Pure love not diluted by Idolisation.
The struggle got worse for nothing could subdue the monster anymore.
The monster was free at long last.
The monster was finally free.
Free to exact his revenge.
Free to make up for lost time.
Free to do whatever he pleased.
Thus, I sit battling this monster every day.
This monster that stops me from being happy for my friend
As she gets picked over me every time
The desire to leave her shadow only growing stronger.
YOU ARE READING
book of poems
PoetryMy sincerest apologies for the horrible cover and title but essentially this is a poetry book of sorts divided into four sections. The first section is called 'Of Family found and Lost' The second section is called 'The Battles Within' The third sec...
