𝙲𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙱𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚖(𝙰𝙲𝙾𝚃𝙰𝚁)

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫

there will be some 18+ content in this chapter. not actual smut, but like, solo smut if you catch my drift.

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   I enjoyed the summer solstice. Tamlin was allowing me to go outside for the celebration. Despite the heat, I opted for a long sleeved dress that covered the scars on my arms.

   I decided not to wear shoes. I wanted to feel the grass beneath my feet. I placed a flower crown I had made myself on my head and curled out my hair.

"You clean up so nice," Lucien teased me when I came downstairs. I just rolled my eyes.

    When Feyre appeared at the top of the staircase, the breath was knocked from my lungs.

    She wore a flowing, cornflower-blue chiffon gown. Her hair was unbound, but wove a garland of pink, white, and blue wildflowers around the crown of her head.

"Cauldron boil me," Lucien whistled as she came down the stairs. "She looks positively Fae."

     She was too busy looking Tamlin over to thank Lucien for the compliment. A small twinge of jealousy coursed through me at the way she looked at my brother.

"You look lovely," Tamlin murmured.

"I'm surprised Im even allowed to participate tonight," she shrugged. As was I.

"Unfortunately for you and your neck," Lucien countered, "tonight's just a party."

"Do you lie awake at night to come up with all your witty replies for the following day?" Feyre asked him.

   I was sure he did. Lucien winked at her, and Tamlin laughed and offered her his arm.

"He's right," Tamlin said.

   He led the girl into the garden. Lucien offered me his arm, and I reluctantly took it.

"Solstice celebrates when day and night are equal—its a time of neutrality, when everyone can take down their hair and simply enjoy being a faerie—not High Fae or faerie, just us, and nothing else," Tamlin explained to her.

"So there's singing and dancing and excessive drinking," Lucien chimed in. "And dallying."

   The sun was beginning its final descent when we reached the plateau on which the festivities were to be held. Table after table of food had been lined up along the far edge of the plateau.

"No drinking, mousy," Tamlin reminded me.

"I know," I said quietly.

"And don't eat too much," he added.

"I know," I repeated, more irritated this time.

   High status females in the Spring Court had strict diets we were expected to follow. My mother had held me accountable for it when she was alive, and my brother took over when she died.

    I filled a plate with some blueberry pie and went off on my own, sitting under a tree as I watched everyone dancing.

    I watched as Feyre got drunk off of faerie wine, Lucien chasing her down as she escaped him again and again.

"Feyre, stop," Lucien said, and grabbed her again as she approached me.

"You stop. Stop being so serious," she said, shaking him off. Lucien swore as she came over to me and offered me her hand. "Dance with me, Mary."

"I don't really dance," I said quietly.

"Come on," she whined, gripping my hand and yanking me to my feet. I squeaked as my plate and fork fell to the ground.

"Feyre, really, I don't--"

"Please," she stressed, taking both my hands in hers. I froze as she reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "You're so pretty. Such a shame Tamlin keeps you locked away."

     With that, she took off back towards the festivities, waving at me to follow. I stood frozen, not able to process what just happened. My face was a deep red when I turned to Lucien, who was smirking.

"She must have a thing for blondes ," he joked.

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      I went to bed early that night, far before the party was over. I took a bath and changed into my nightgown.

      I got beneath the covers of my bed, my mind wandering back to Feyre. The way she danced so freely, not giving a care in the world of what anyone thought.

      I snaked my hand down, lifting the skirt of my nightgown, and taking two of my fingers to rub circles on the bundle of nerves that I rarely used to bring myself pleasure.

      The way her hair flowed in the wind, whipping around and around without her even bothering to fix the crown on her head.

      I thought of her blue eyes looking into mine as she took my hands in hers.

     Her voice when she'd said, 'you're so pretty.' The way she'd studied my face like she was truly paying attention. 

     How she'd raised her hand to tuck my hair back, and how my body had felt like it was on fire when her skin made contact with mine.

      I whimpered, my hips bucking as I bit down on my lip to keep quiet as I reached my climax.

     The shame that filled me as I came down was enough to make my stomach ache. I couldn't be having thoughts like this, and I certainly couldn't be acting on them.

    She had to fall in love with my brother to break the curse. It was so wrong of me to be attracted to her.

    I felt so disgusting. So ashamed. I curled up in a ball, blinking tears away as I tried to find sleep without thinking about her.