Miara's Mistakes

(33) July 5, 2020

Scared

Napalunok si Miara nang makita na unti-unti nang bumababa ang araw at nababalot na ang mga naglalakihang gusali ng kadiliman.

Tinampal-tampal niya ang sarili at inalis na ang tingin sa glass window para makabalik na sa kaniyang kwarto. But when she turned around, Primo was behind her. He was far from her yet for some reason, it startled Miara, causing her to shriek.

"Omg! I'm sorry!" Nahihiyang sabi ni Miara. "Nagulat ako sa 'yo..."

Primo gave Miara a look as if he's studying her. "Are you scared of me?"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Miara dahil sa narinig, hindi inakala na ganoon iyon ka-obvious.

"Wait here," anang lalaki sabay pasok sa kaniyang silid. Maya-maya ay lumabas ito at saka may binigay na susi kay Miara. "That's the key to your room. Lock it tonight but make sure to bring the key out tomorrow."

Binaba ni Miara ang tingin at saka pinagmasdan ang susi. Kagat-labi niyang sinalubong ang mapanuring mga mata ni Primo. "I'm sorry... and salamat..."

Primo's lips curved into a smile, taking Miara aback. It was a small and quick smile that only last for a millisecond. "Don't be sorry. I understand... there's food on the table and if you want, you can eat in your room."

Miara nodded, her eyes fixated on Primo until he was out of her sight. Huli nang napagtanto ni Miara na kanina pa pala niya pinipigilan ang hininga.

May kung ano siyang nararamdaman pero hindi iyon ang karaniwan na pagkatakot.

Mabilis siyang pumunta sa kusina at saka kumain bago bumalik sa kaniyang silid. Gusto niya rin sanang kumain sa loob ng kwarto pero nahihiya na siya kay Primo dahil baka magkalat pa siya roon.

Pagkatapos maligo at magbihis ay naupo si Miara sa harap ng glass window at saka pinagmasdan ang mga toreng kumikinang dahil sa sinag ng buwan.

She bent her legs and let her face rest on her knees, not minding the tears cascading down her cheeks.

"Nakakapagod umiyak," bulong niya sa sarili. "I should move around tomorrow..."

Miara heaved a deep sigh and started planning what she'll do tomorrow. After that incident, she never had a peaceful sleep unless she's drunk and tired. Sleeping pills doesn't work for her so she always ends up having puffy eyes.

"It's okay... I'm okay..." Miara whispered to herself while tapping her head. She wiped her face with her pajamas and continued tapping. "He's a stranger but that doesn't mean he's like them..."

"It's okay... I'm okay... you can do this, Miara..." she continued, her voice getting more shaky. "It's just eight hours... it'll pass by like a blink..."

She continued tapping her head and did the breathing exercise she saw on YouTube while whispering some assurance to herself. At that moment, she pitied herself. She felt helpless, alone, and lonely.

Ngayon niya lang napagtanto kung gaano siya ka mag-isa. Sanay na siyang pakalmahin ang sarili at patuyoin ang sariling mga luha pero hindi niya rin mapigilang isipin kung ano ang pakiramdam na may nag-aalaga sa kaniya.

"Pikit, pikit... pagkamulat mo, maaga na ulit..." she sang to herself and made her way to the bed. Paulit-ulit niya iyong kinanta sa sarili hanggang tuluyan nang makatulog.