Miara's Mistakes

(49) July 6, 2020

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Primo was busy rewriting his notes when his phone beeped. For some reason, he feels agitated today. Kanina noong nagbe-bake sila ni Miara, magaan ang loob niya. Pero pagkatapos niyon, hindi niya na ulit maintindihan ang sarili.

And speaking of Miara, after they ate, she immediately washed the dishes and went back to her room.

Did I make her uncomfortable? Did I say something offensive? I'm pretty sure I complimented the cake and milktea. Primo thought, trying to go through his mind what made Miara act like that.

He shook his head and messed with his hair. He doesn't like what he's feeling and what's worse is that he's unsure of what exactly he's feeling.

Birthday blues are normal for him. Sanay siyang nagluluksa tuwing may selebrasyon. Nakangiti pero gumuguho sa loob.

It's your damn birthday, Primo! Stop making a fuss over everything! Ganoon na ba kababa ang tingin mo sa akin? Don't you trust me?

"Ah, shit!" Primo sighed and messed with his hair again. The intrusive thoughts are all coming back now and it's getting into him.

"I need some drink," he whispered to himself and was about to go back to the bar when his phone lit up again.

Miara:

Sa sobrang bait ni mama binigyan ako ni mama ng 500 sabi ni mama mag milktea daw ako so pumunta ako sa milktea shop laking gulat ko sobrang daming tao puro mag jowa medyo naiinggit ako, then umorder na nga ako ng milktea. Nahulog yung pera ko pati cp ko nagtinginan sila lahat, pinulot ko na ang pera at cp ko sabay "hello baby, oo pauwi na ako hintayin mo nalang ako, i love you." yung lalakeng nasa likod nakatingin sabay sabi ng "sana all may ka talk" napatingin ako sa sahig potek naiwan yung battery ng selpon ko

Primo wheezed when he read the message. He shook his head while chuckling, unsure on what to reply.

Miara has this surprisingly mood-uplifting ability to say random but amusing things. She's a breath of fresh air.

Primo:

Wrong send again, lods?

When he read his text, he shook his head and erased the "lods." He didn't want Miara to think that he's mocking her.

Miara:

Hindi, sinadya ko hehe

Conversation starter hehe

He didn't know what to reply so he waited for her next message instead. Hindi nagtagal, nag-message rin ulit si Miara.

Miara:

Pwedeng pakialaman kusina mo? May gagawin lang ako. Promise lilinisin ko ang kalat at saka good deeds po 👼🏻

Primo:

Okay, text me if you need help or anything.

He paused and reread his words, then erasing it all. He replied "okay" instead. He felt that sending the former message would make Miara think that he thinks she's incapable and always needs help.

Kaya ko nga, diba? Oo na, mas matalino ka na! Kailangan mo ba talagang ipamukha sa 'kin na bobo ako? I'm not retarded and I'm perfectly capable! I did not ask for your help! Just because I told you I'm stressed, it doesn't mean I need your help.

"Please, not now," Primo whispered and sat on his swivel chair while massaging his temple. He wants a drink but he can't since Miara's outside.

It's hard enough for him to make Miara comfortable while also not overstepping boundaries. He notices it every time Miara flinches and takes a step back when he's walking pass by her.

He can see fear in her eyes while smiling and joking around. And he can see her effort not to make it too obvious that she's scared of him.

He has no idea why, but he can see it and he understands her.

If you're gonna continue to interrogate me like this, then there's no point for us to continue this relationship. You don't trust me. You always make me look like the bad guy.

Past conversations continued to replay in Primo's mind and he's starting to feel like he's going crazy. This is why he dislikes his birthday—his past takes control over him.

He heaved a deep sigh and leaned on his seat, his attention got caught by the tall glass on his table. It was the milktea Miara made.

He used to like it but now, he can't remember the last time he drank such. Noong naging sila ni Cleo, pinagbawalan siya nito na uminom dahil unhealthy raw kaya hanggang ngayon, nasanay na siya.

He brought the glass to his mouth, then taking another sip. Hindi niya ito masyadong natikman kanina at pinuri lang si Miara.

"This is good," bulong niya sa sarili at mabilis na inubos ang inumin.