And suddenly it's my turn, I take a step forward, curious to see what might appear in front of me. Maybe a spider? I hate spiders, insects in general, or maybe something deeper, my father... I don't think so, I mean, I'm not afraid of him. And as my thoughts run over and I run through various possibilities in my head, the boggart turns into something I hadn't thought of, or rather, something I had repressed. It takes on the form of a basilisk, and not only do my classmates react with shock, I now stand there, full of fear, almost frozen. My heart stopped, the basilisk, the chamber of secrets. This was the worst day of my life so far. I thought I was going to die. When Tom sees what my greatest fear is, his heart drops into his pants, he didn't know I am still so afraid or still thinking about it. Tom sees the creature, and a sudden wave of worry and anguish washes over him. The basilisk was the reason that he wanted to protect me in the first place, and seeing the boggart take on that form sends his anxiety levels through the roof. I feel as if time has stopped, and my body is being consumed by fear. I can't take my eyes off of the boggart, and the fear and despair I'm feeling is so intense that I can't even look away for a moment.
"Riddiculus" I wake up from my shocked state and give the basilisk a pair of colored sunglasses and a funny hat, the students start laughing and I take a breath, but I can't laugh at that, I stumble aside to make room for Kim, Tom turns to me and says "Everything okay?" he takes me in his arms, and I nod, but nothing is okay. Tom pulls me close, and he squeezes me tightly in a tight hug. He can feel how tense my body is, and he pulls me as close to him as possible, hoping that his support can make me feel even slightly better. He stares at me with a gentle expression, but he knows that I'm not alright. My body seems to be shaking slightly, and I still haven't said a word. As I lean into him, my body is pressed against him tightly, and he can't help but feel protective over me.
Tom feels extremely guilty. He knows he's responsible, which I don't know. After Kim has overcome her fear of rejection by others, it's Tom's turn. Tom is reluctant to let go of me, but I nod at him to let him know it's okay. He steps forward, and the boggart slowly steps out of the closet, I'm at least as nervous as Tom because I can't imagine what might happen now. And to my great surprise, the boggart looks just like me. Well, almost, I seem to be hurt and crying. Then the boggart points his finger at Tom in fear. At that moment, I realized that Tom's biggest fear is that he might hurt me and I might be afraid of him. Everyone waits anxiously to see what he will do, and a silence spreads. Tom turns to me and looks at me guiltily, then he turns away, storms out of the classroom, and slams the door behind him. The professor remains unimpressed and tries to continue the lesson as normal, and it's the next person's turn. I decided to go after Tom and walk out of the classroom, too.
Tom bolts out of the room, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He knows he's made a mistake, and the idea that he might inadvertently hurt me terrifies him. He feels like a horrible person, and he suddenly stops in front of the door and leans his head against the wall, breathing heavily. Tom has never felt this low before, and he feels like he just made a terrible mistake. He looks down and sees his hand shaking slightly, and he can't even look up to face anybody. The guilt is overwhelming. I walk up to him and place my hand gently on his shoulder "Tom...everything...okay?" Tom breathes extremely fast and panicked, barely looks at me. He jumps slightly when I touch him, as he's so deep in thought that he hasn't noticed me approach. My touch causes a small jolt inside him as he looks back at me with a mixture of guilt and panic. His breath is still short and quick, and he just stares at me, still shocked.
"What..was that just...?" He stares at me, and I try to be understanding and take a step closer, I want to hug him so badly, but he won't let me. "It was... a boggart..." He whispers in a weak voice, as he's still incredibly shaken by the entire moment, even though it's been a few minutes. He still can't seem to look at me, and his heart is still pounding quickly. He lets out another shaky breath, still trying to calm himself down, but his anxiety and guilt are too intense.
"I know it was a boggart. but why.. did it take my form?"
"I... don't know..." Tom replies softly, but he does seem to have a small idea as to why it might have taken on my form. The guilt is starting to build up inside him as more and more pieces fall into place. He just realizes that he's completely blown it and that he made the biggest mistake possible.
I take his arm and force him to look at me. "Tom, tell me the truth, why should I be afraid of you? That's it, right? You're afraid of hurting me, and then I'll be afraid of you!" I look at him seriously and look into his eyes until he finally looks at me. He nods solemnly, finally looking at me as I speak. I'm absolutely right, and I figured out his fears perfectly, which now makes him feel even worse. He doesn't want to face the truth, and he wants to try to keep this a secret... But he knows I deserve better than that. He can't keep it from me.
"Yes, I'm terrified that I'm going to do something bad to you and hurt you. I'm so afraid of losing you... Or hurting or scaring you in any way."
"But why, Tom? I don't understand. " Tom bites his lip and pulls his arm away "Because I already did it! You don't understand!" I look at him confused, and he continues.
He looks at me with pleading eyes as his eyes narrow and he grits his teeth slightly, the guilt and shame starting to show on his cheeks. His heart is pounding in his chest as he tries to gather all the words in his head and express them all at once.
"... My fear... comes from what I did to you." He says, his voice becoming slightly more tense and shaky as he speaks. My eyes wander around his face. It all sounds like a mystery to me, then he breathes loudly and takes my face tightly in his hand and almost screams in my face. "It was me! I'm the Heir of Slytherin, I opened the Chamber of Secrets, I controlled the Basilisk, and I killed Myrtle." When he says that, my heart literally breaks into a thousand pieces, and everything I thought I knew about the chamber, about the Basilisk, was one big Lie
"You attacked me...?" I answer, almost silent.
Tom lets out an anguished, pained groan as I piece together the truth. He stares at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of guilt and anguish as I slowly realize what he did. He watches in horror as I come to all of the conclusions, and he feels utterly terrible seeing me come to this realization. He didn't know how to break it to me or when to tell me the truth. It's too late now, and the pain in my eyes is unbearable. "But it wasn't intentional, I never wanted the basilisk to attack you. I stopped it as soon as you..." It feels like all the pieces of the puzzle were just falling into place as to why he let the basilisk get away from me so easily how he knew what was happening and where I was...my heart sinks deep and I just stare at Tom, who looks like he could see into my soul. It's extremely painful for Tom to see the pain and shock in my eyes, and he feels a sharp stab of guilt and remorse in his chest. He wants to scream out that it was never intentional, but he knows that this makes no difference. The damage has already been done. He's hurt me more than anyone else ever has, and he knows he's crossed a line that he can never go back from. I lower my head and stare at the floor, shaking. Tom notices, and now it feels like the boggart is standing in front of him again, but it's me. The real Lucia, and look at him with fear. This is almost unbearable for Tom
"And when I just saw that the basilisk was still scaring you so much, I couldn't stand it..."
Tom is crushed when he sees the look in my eyes because he knows what that look means. He can see how much I'm hurting, and he knows that he's the reason for all of it. The guilt that he feels is overwhelming him, and he doesn't know what to do. He wants to beg for my forgiveness, but he knows it would make no difference. He's already gone too far.
"Say something!" he shouts at me, almost shaking me, but I just shake my head, and tears come to my eyes. Tom then lets go of me and storms off while I stay behind in the hallway.
When Tom turns away from me and can't even look at me as he bolts into his dorm room. He sits on his bed and stares at the ceiling, feeling like he's going to burst with guilt and fear. He just realized that he's broken my trust and hurt me more than anyone else ever has. He feels like an absolute monster.
YOU ARE READING
Tom Riddle - Downfall
Fanfiction"The monsters were never under my bed. Because the monsters were inside my head. Because all this time the monster has been me." This is the Story of Tom Riddle and his life in Hogwarts when he was 17 and Lucia Grey, a popular girl from Slytherin bu...
