Tom Riddle - Downfall

Chapter 54: Monster

I'd do anything for Tom, so I take the risk. It's 12am, and I'm on my way to the house where I'm supposed to meet Tom. It's dark and I don't know the area. It's a small place and it's deserted at this time of day. The door of the small house is slightly open, so I walk in slowly. "Tom?" I call through the house. It's pitch dark, but when I go one room further, there's a fireplace that flickers and lights up the room. Someone is sitting in an armchair. "Tom?" I say again and get no answer, so I come closer and put my hand on his shoulder and turn towards him. It's Tom. He scowls and stares at the fire. Tom snaps his attention to me immediately, and he is startled by the touch. His dark eyes now glare at me intensely, and he almost looks like a completely different person.
"You shouldn't be here, my love..."
His voice is cold, and the look in his eyes does not seem like the normal, soft, and affectionate look I'm used to seeing. He seems agitated somehow, and he is making no moves towards me, instead just sitting back in the armchair and continuing to stare at the fire.
"But...you wrote to me. I ... was worried. " Tom doesn't look at me and says,"You have to stay away from me from now on. I don't want to hurt you. " I kneel in front of him and touch his hand, but he immediately blocks my touch and looks coldly into the fire without emotion."Tom, what happened?" Even though I'm touching him, he's making no hint of affection towards me. Something has clearly changed, as he's acting completely different than the Tom I knew before. With a stern, flat voice; he says
"I'm not the person you knew before. So you need to stay away for your own safety. Things have changed within me this summer, and I'm not sure I can control it. So please...for your own good... just go home and forget about me. Ok?"
"Tom, look at me." I try to turn his head towards me, but when his eyes meet mine, a shiver runs down my spine. He comes closer to me and almost screams in my face
"Don't you get it, I'm a monster! Stay away from me." Tears fill my eyes, and I don't understand what's going on."I know you would never hurt me." I stroke his face, and when he realizes that I'm looking at him without fear, his mask starts to crumble a little.

As I touch his face and I seem completely unfazed by his cold words, his facial expression softens a little bit. And then he starts to look a little more like the Tom I had known and loved before. His voice then drops, and it's as if he's not even trying to sound scary anymore.
"I... I don't want to hurt you, but things are difficult right now. Things are...dark. You don't know who I am or what I've done. So please... just go home and let me deal with this alone. That's what's best for you. Don't look back."
"Tom, look at me, I'm not going to leave you alone now." I take his hand, kiss it, and then take his face in my hands. He can barely look me in the eye and then says
"The monsters were never under my bed. Because the monsters were inside my head. Because all this time, the monster has been me."
I continue to look at him in confusion
"I killed them,"
"Who Tom? Who did you kill?" A coldness comes back to his eyes when I ask that question, and his demeanor shifts back to cold and calculating. When he replies, his voice is once again flat, and he says nothing but two words:
"I killed them all."
"My grandfather. My father...and when I was born, my mother too." I hug Tom directly and hug him tightly. "It's going to be okay." Tom hesitates at first, but then he hugs me back and holds me close. He buries his face in my arms. When I hug him tightly, it's as if a sudden weight was lifted off of both of our chests. I can feel Tom's heart beating against mine, and he's now holding me gently and with affection. He pulls me closer to him, and he whispers to me
"I am so sorry, my love. But I would never hurt you. Never ever. But this dark part of me...it's something else, I can't control it anymore. I could never control it. I only want you to be safe." I see him now. His dark side. Everything about him.
"Tell me about your father, your mother, and your grandfather. What exactly happened?" I don't let go of him, and we hold each other in our arms."I was looking for my family this summer. I grew up in an orphanage, and I found my uncle. He told me that my mother died when I was born. Her name was Merope Gaunt. She made my father compliant with a love potion, and after her death, he gave me away. I wanted to confront him, but the situation escalated, and...I was just a little baby... I killed him, just like I killed my grandfather. "
I look at him with a slightly pitying look, and he looks at me worriedly. As if he's afraid I'll see him in a different light now. But I'm not. I hug him again and kiss his forehead.

"Tom, it's okay." He pauses in silence, and I can tell that he's thinking of what to say next. He was willing to be honest with me now, and he would give me the whole truth. The way he glances at me makes me think that he doesn't expect me to understand after hearing this; he thinks that I might leave him if I find out what really happened. But when I don't let go of him and I continue to hug him tightly, he starts speaking again.
"I'm just... a horrible person. A monster. And you shouldn't be here."
"You're not." I take his hand and stand up. "Come with me. We're going to my home. " Tom is surprised at first, but then a faint smile crosses his face, and he nods. His cold and stoic demeanor seems gone now, and it's almost as if he's back to being the loving Tom that I've known for so long. He gets up also, and he puts his hand inside mine. And he walks beside me, slowly, as I lead the way. He doesn't say anything as the two of us start to walk.