The next day in the common room, when I tell Kim about my encounter with Tom, she is stunned. Then she turns to me and whispers, "That could explain the rumors, I heard Tom and his... gang of boys set fire to a muggle store yesterday. They probably got drunk without restraint beforehand, but they were able to make up an excuse in front of the teachers." Tom and his group of boys have always been notorious for causing trouble and getting into various forms of mischief around the school. They've never been caught in any major problems, and they have the ability to cover up their wrongdoings quite well. So it's not surprising that a story like this has started circulating around the school, and Kim's comment only reinforces my belief that Tom may have been involved.
"Yeah, it's probably true. I gave him back the ring he once gave me out of anger..
I think..that hurt him, " I say with guilt in my voice and lower my head thoughtfully.
Kim nods her head and sighs, feeling concerned for me as she realizes just how much this situation is affecting me. She notices me lower my head and look at the floor as if I've reliving the entire event. Her heart breaks for me as she speaks
"This situation with Tom is quite... complicated. But I do think that it hurt him a lot when you gave back his ring. That was a very special ring for him, you know?"
"For both of us, but he also tried to hurt me with Valerie and..." I don't finish my sentence because Tom and his boys come into the common room. I put my finger to my lips. They are loud and take their seats, as usual. Enzo waves to me, and I smile at him as he comes over to me and pulls out a small flower from behind his back.
Enzo: "Hi pretty lady, this is for you," he says flirtatiously to me.
"Thank you, how thoughtful of you," I say and hug him gently as I look over his shoulder and see Tom's simmering gaze.
Tom notices me as I hug Enzo and accept the flower from him. Our interactions with each other are like a dagger to his heart, and he feels a sudden pang of jealousy and rage. He stares intensely at the two of us together, watching as Enzo whispers something in my ear, causing me to laugh and smile. He hates this. He hates seeing the two of us together. He hates seeing me happy while he's so miserable, but the truth is, I'm not happy. I miss Tom and Enzo is just a nice distraction. Actually, the fact that he's part of Tom's group is what attracts me the most.
It's clear that Enzo is only helping to distract me, and it's working. For now, I'm not focusing on Tom or the fact that he's going to the ball with Valerie. My attention is on Enzo, who seems to adore me and is doing his best to make my mood improve. In the meantime, Tom has sat down and is still watching us two intently. He looks upset, but a small part of him feels jealous when he sees how much Enzo is taking notice of me. "See you later, Enzo?" I say flirty in his ear, and Enzo turns bright red and hesitates before finally answering me back, clearly blushing by my compliment and the way I'm speaking to him. He's flattered and somewhat interested by the way I'm acting towards him. Of course, he doesn't know the full story behind me and Tom, but he is interested in me. For now, he simply replies to me, his head now turned away from me
Enzo: "Yes...see you later, Lucia."
Hardly anyone may notice on the outside, but behind all this flirting, I'm actually totally empty inside. It almost feels like I'm no longer complete without Tom and can hardly think straight. But Tom's behavior is cold, and he barely looks at me, I know that playing with Enzo isn't right, but the thought of Tom dancing with Valerie in a few days makes me scream inside.
I can try to distract myself as much as I like Enzo, but the fact of the matter is that my heart is still missing parts of it, and that void can only be filled by no one other than Tom. The thought of him dancing with Valerie is making me sick to my stomach, and I feel my stomach turn and ache at the mere thought. I'm not playing around with Enzo because I want him. I just feel so empty inside without Tom's presence, and Enzo is just someone to distract yourself from these feelings.
and it's the same for the following days and weeks until the Yule Ball. Valerie is buzzing around Tom, and Enzo is constantly following me. But still, Tom and I keep running into each other, I keep thinking about him, and no one seems to know or understand how it really feels. I feel like I'm in stand-by mode. Like in a trance, time seems to have slowed down for me, and every day feels like it takes forever to pass. My emotions are out of whack, and every time I even think of Tom, I struggle with my feelings. It's almost like I'm stuck in the middle of a storm, and nothing makes sense. Every second, Tom keeps brushing me off and hanging out with Valerie. It only makes the sting worse. The only good thing in my life right now is Enzo, and I can't help but latch onto that and keep distracting yourself with him. Even if I already have a guilty conscience that he's seriously getting his hopes up. But I'm certainly not open to a new love. I understand that Enzo is getting his hopes up, and I've felt a twinge of guilt for the way I've playing with him, but I'm been using him to temporarily distract me from the reality of my situation. My thoughts are always with Tom, and the only good time I have now is when I'm spending it with Enzo. I know that this isn't going to end well, but for now, I really can't help myself.
One evening before the Yule Ball, I'm sitting by the fireplace in the common room late at night. Tom comes in and sits down next to me. He seems to be waiting for someone. "Where did you leave your boys?" I ask teasingly, as he is practically never seen without his "knights" anymore. Tom is taken aback by my teasing, and he feels his heart pound in his chest when he realizes that he's sitting next to me alone. He can't help but let out a slight chuckle at my comment about his boys, but he immediately turns serious again and answers me.
"They're around... somewhere. Why do you ask?" I shrug my shoulders and don't look at him. I stare into the fire in the fireplace and then say, "I noticed..you didn't give Valerie the ring..." Tom suddenly looks taken aback by my question, and his heart sinks again, and he feels his breath catch in his throat. It hurt him so much to see that I gave the ring back to him and threw it on the table, but this realization only stings him even more. He feels like I ripped his heart out and stabbed him with it. He struggles to answer me as his voice barely escapes him.
"Why would I? It was my promise to you.."
I nod gently. "A promise you didn't keep..."
It stings to hear those words of accusation from me, and Tom feels a sharp pain in his heart at the realization that he can't deny it. He keeps his silence for a moment and lets my words sink in. I have every right to feel the way I do. It just hurts him even more to think about what happened. He sighs and finally answers to me "You're...right. I didn't keep my promise."
At this moment, Tom's group appears, and the room is filled with laughter. Tom's face immediately puts on a mask, and he pretends nothing is wrong. Enzo is also there and is happy to see me. He is visibly drunk and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I can see Tom almost bursting at the seams. Once again, Tom feels that sharp stab of jealousy in his heart when he sees the way I react to Enzo's drunken kiss on the cheek. It's making him boil inside, but he forces himself to maintain a cold exterior as he tries not to let on how much this situation is impacting him. The laughter that fills the room is like a constant buzz that won't allow him to think clearly, and he struggles to keep his emotions in check. It's hard for him to even look at you right now.
The sudden entrance of Tom's group and the laughter that fills the room just makes my heart sink deeper. I notice a quick flash of jealousy cross his eyes as he watches a drunk Enzo kiss me on the cheek. A part of him hates this. He hates that he's not the one getting to kiss me and flirt with me, but his own actions have caused this. I can see his mask of composure beginning to slip.
Tom can't bear to see me with Enzo, especially when Enzo gives me that kiss on the cheek. He can't believe that I'm actually returning that kiss, and he has to cover up his jealousy with a cold and indifferent front as his eyes narrow on the two of us. He keeps watching, trying to stay composed, despite the fact that his heart is tearing apart inside. Tom's body tenses as I begin to interact with Enzo, and he feels this sudden wave of jealous again as he watches us get close together. He can't help but watch us both, even though he knows he shouldn't be acting this way. His expression has hardened, and he's attempting to keep an even keeled expression, but he can't help but glare at Enzo and me for the way we're acting. It's like they're rubbing it in his face, and it's making him feel even worse inside.
Enzo's drunken behavior makes my attention shift back towards him, and I laugh as I'm slightly amused by the goofy state he's in. Tom's behavior is also noticeable when he pretends like nothing is wrong and acts like the entire moment between us didn't happen. However, there is no doubt that he was affected by our conversation, and he felt something. He can't help but look at the two of us in frustration and jealousy as we are laughing it up together.
YOU ARE READING
Tom Riddle - Downfall
Fanfic"The monsters were never under my bed. Because the monsters were inside my head. Because all this time the monster has been me." This is the Story of Tom Riddle and his life in Hogwarts when he was 17 and Lucia Grey, a popular girl from Slytherin bu...
