Tom Riddle - Downfall

Chapter 64: Broken trust

I take a deep breath and go to Tom's dorm room. When I knock, I hear his voice
Tom Riddle. Tom's surprised to hear my knock, and he hesitates at the door for a moment, thinking about what he'll say when he opens it. His heart pounds, and suddenly, his hands become sweaty with nerves. Finally, he gathers himself and opens the door. He seems surprised to see me, and I notice how he wants to hug me straight away, but he hesitates.
"Can I come in?"
Tom's eyes light up when he sees my face, and he can barely contain his joy to be reunited with me. He nods quickly and steps aside and invites me inside his tiny dorm room.
"Kim said you wanted to talk to me," I say in as neutral a tone as possible while looking around his dorm room, which is surprisingly messy. Tom's surprised that I sound so calm and even-toned, not at all like the distraught, emotional wreck he was the last time he spoke to me. It catches him off guard, and he struggles to keep his cool. He stares at me for several seconds, his heart pounding hard in his chest. He finally nods and invites me to sit down. I look at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something. Tom pauses for a moment, trying to collect himself. He's completely taken off-guard by how cool and collected I seem here. He takes a deep breath and tries to find the correct words to start the conversation. He's not sure how to start, but he hopes that I'll forgive him and hear what he has to say. He swallows hard and finally speaks up.
"Do you...would you be ok with me explaining my side of things? Please?" He asks tentatively, still feeling incredibly anxious and nervous. He wants to talk to me and for me to understand his point of view, but he doesn't want to make this difficult for me. "Yes, explain to me," I say and sit on his bed and continue to look at him while I try to suppress my emotions. After all, I missed him too, and at the same time, I'm incredibly angry. Tom sits next to me and takes a deep breath, finally starting to speak. "I guess I should start by admitting that I really have missed you a lot." He says softly, and he can already feel the emotions bubbling up and overwhelming him again. He's trying to stay as steady and calm as he can, but he's struggling to keep it together.
"I know Tom, but it doesn't change what you did. Why did you hide it from me? Why didn't you come to me?"
Tom looks away briefly, his eyes flickering with shame as they focus on the carpet instead. At first, he's hesitant to answer, but he's forced to respond to my question. He sighs deeply and finally speaks again.
"The truth is that I was scared. I was terrified of what would happen if I told you, and I was afraid that you'd lose all trust in me. So I kept hiding it from you. I know it was wrong, and I'm so sorry."
"You've lost my trust now... but not only that. Tom, there's something else you haven't told me.." Tom looks up at me, and his heart sinks as he realizes that I know there's more to all of this than just the lie. He takes a deep breath and sighs heavily, letting out a defeated grunt as he nods his head. "Yes, there is more. I can't deny it."
"I've been thinking a lot about the basilisk, Myrtle, and especially about your diary that I found. It's a Horcrux, right? You created your first Horcrux with the murder of Myrtle." I stand up and look at him seriously , and I look him straight in the eyes. I want to prevent him from lying to me again. Tom is completely stunned, and he looks down and fidgets nervously with his fingers. He can't lie to me again now that I see through it all, and he can't deny what I've just said. He sighs deeply and nods his head, finally looking back up into my eyes. He can't quite meet my gaze, and he looks away almost instantly, feeling terrible about his secrets.
"Look at me and tell me the truth." I cross my arms over my chest. Tom's eyes flicker back up to meet mine, and he swallows hard as he finally opens up completely.
"Yes... yes, it's true." He says softly and hesitatingly. He doesn't know how I'll take this news now that I know the secret he's been hiding. He waits patiently for my response. I nod sadly. "I knew it...is there anything else you want to tell me?"
Tom looks away again, not able to bear seeing my sad expression. His breath becomes more rapid, and he feels the regret and guilt overwhelm him more. His chest feels heavy, and it feels hard to get words out, but he knows to tell me the entire truth.
"Yes... yes, there is." He says softly, fighting back his emotions. He's nervous about my response and afraid to disappoint me even further. I take a deep breath, and a few tears run down my cheeks. "Tell me.."

Tom stares at me as the tears flow down my cheeks, which breaks his heart. he can't stand to see me like this, and it makes him feel even more ashamed and guilty. He wants to reach out and touch me, to dry my tears and make me smile, but he knows that there's too much to handle for now. He can only gather himself and speak now that I've asked him to.
"I have created four horcruxes." He says softly, trying not to let the shame and guilt win over him. His voice is shaky. When he says that, tears literally burst out of me. "Why?" I try to swallow my emotions again, but I just can't. Tom's heart breaks even more to see me cry this way. He wants to reach out and stop my tears, but he also knows that the situation requires more than just comforting words. He takes a deep breath and speaks again, this time in a much less steady and controlled voice than before.
"I did it because I wanted to be powerful. I hated not being the best at everything. I wanted to get back to the people who bullied me." He says angrily, letting his emotions overtake him for a moment.
"And you didn't care about the price?" I say through tears, and when he tries to take my hand, I take a step back.

Even the gesture of me taking a step back hurts him, seeing how far he has truly pushed me away. He closes his hands into a fist and nods his head. "No, I didn't care back then. I only cared about the power and the influence. I let my jealousy and insecurities control me, and I made some very horrible choices."
I wipe away my tears and nod. "Tom, I would have gone to the end of the world with you, would have risked everything for you. Would have done anything for you.."
The pain in Tom's expression grows, and he's feeling both incredible guilt and regret as he listens to how much I care about him. He can't believe how careless he was with my heart and how he could have possibly hurt me this much.
"I know. I'm so sorry." He says quietly, his voice shaky and broken as he takes another deep breath. He wants to reach out again and hold me in his arms, but he knows I likely wouldn't appreciate his touch right now. "But you hurt me, lied to me, betrayed me. I can't trust you anymore. " I sob briefly and try to breathe, but the tears just come out of me."But it's over...with us"

Tom can't help but feel shocked when I make the sudden declaration that it's over. He has a momentary flicker of hope that he could still convince me otherwise and win .e back, but he quickly realizes that his words alone wouldn't be enough. He knows he needs to prove himself now.
"Wait. Please..." He says firmly, feeling the need to give things another try. He gets back up and comes next to me, kneeling at my feet and looking up at me with pleading eyes. I turn around again, but when I look into his face filled with pain, my heart breaks in a thousand pieces.
"Tom, nothing you want to say, will save this now.." I say with pain in my voice and tears in my eyes. It's hard for Tom to bear the intense pain and sadness in my eyes, and his heart truly breaks when I say there's nothing that can fix this anymore. He feels like a complete monster, having driven me away with his selfish choices and the terrible things he's done. He just wants to touch my hand again to feel the softness of my skin and the warmth of my touch.
"Please...I can change. I'll try everything to prove to you how much I regret my actions and how much I want you back."
"I never wanted you to change, I loved you exactly like you are, I just wanted you to be honest to me.." I say while wiping away my tears and softly shaking my head.

He swallows hard and nods his head, finally starting to accept my decision even though it breaks him inside. He wants to keep trying to convince me, but he knows it will only make things worse if he keeps pushing me. He reaches out and touches my hand briefly as if to prove he's still going to try to fight for me, no matter what. I pull away my hand and turn my back on him, leaving his dorm. He looks down, realizing that I've completely made up my mind about leaving him now. He feels defeated, ashamed, and disappointed in himself for ruining everything. He sits on the bed for several minutes before finally standing up and deciding to do one last thing to try and get me back.

And while I'm going to my dorm, I think that this is the end. The end of the story of Tom & Lucia. The end of something so pure, I never experienced before. It feels like I'm dead inside now. Tom stands in his dorm, just watching me as I walk away from him. He feels completely and utterly hopeless, like I'm gone forever. He realizes that a piece of himself has left alongside me, yet he has no one to blame but himself for losing me. He tries to push down his feelings of grief and loneliness, but the pain inside is too much to handle. He closes his eyes tightly, trying to keep himself together.