A few days later, I'm sitting in the library. The Yule Ball is still the number one topic in Hogwarts, and I have to think about it too. I have a mumbly feeling about it, I'm afraid that Valerie and Tom are getting closer. I'm nervously playing with my ring when Tom comes into the library. As we're writing exams tomorrow, the library is pretty full and the only free seat is next to me, of course. He sits down and clears out his books without saying anything. I stare at my books and pretend nothing is wrong.
Tom doesn't even bother trying to get my attention as he sits down next to me and gets ready for his upcoming exams. He's already got a lot of things on his mind, and the fact that I'm seemingly ignoring him and just focusing on my book is just adding to his stress. It seems like I'm still refusing to talk to him, and he can just feel the tension in the air between the two of us now. He doesn't know what to say, so he just stays silent.
After a while, Tom breaks the awkward silence. "So you're going to the Yule Ball with Enzo," he says quietly in a mocking tone.
"And you're going with... Valerie, " I reply just as teasingly. Tom's eyes narrow slightly when I reply with the same mocking tone, and he laughs humorlessly as he sees the situation for what it is. It's clear that both of us are trying to get back at each other or to make each other feel jealous, and he finds it pretty amusing. Even so, he doesn't appreciate the fact that I'm going to the ball with a friend of his, even if it is just to make a point. He answers back. "And you're going with one of my knights."
"Well, he asked me, and he looks really good" I say without looking at Tom, not wanting to let on how difficult this conversation is for me "but tell me, why Valerie of all people?" Tom rolls his eyes and scoffs, not wanting to give me a full answer to my question. He knows that I'm just trying to get back at him somehow by asking that, but he still says, "She seemed interesting. She's also very beautiful, didn't you see her? And she's funny, I quite like her personality too. We've actually been getting along quite well so far."
"You like her personality? You must be blind, " I say in an annoyed tone, almost jealous. Tom laughs humorlessly, realizing that his words are just adding to my discomfort and my feelings of jealousy. He continues to push my buttons by saying, "I'm not blind, and she's actually quite sweet... when she wants to be, anyway. She's obviously good-looking enough for me to want to take her to the ball, don't you think?" I'm literally boiling inside, Tom knows exactly which buttons to press to make me furious. Then he looks over at me and notices that I'm still wearing the ring he gave me and he can see how much his words are affecting me, and he laughs at the fact that he's able to hit upon a weakness that I have. Of course, I'm still wearing the ring he gave me, which probably means he still means something to me, right? At least that's the way he sees it. He doesn't hesitate on bringing this up as he glances at the ring on my finger and asks, "Still wearing the ring I gave you, I see?"
More and more, I get the feeling that he doesn't care how I feel or what he does to me. His words are like knives in my chest, out of anger I take the ring off, slam it on the table and say "Give it to Valerie" and in that moment I can see in Tom's eyes how much it hurts him that I've taken the ring off now and for a brief moment I regret it.
Tom looks genuinely hurt when I suddenly slam the ring on the table, and he's completely caught off guard by the sudden gesture. He's hurt that I took it off and slammed it down, but he's mostly crushed that I decided to act out this way. Tom was hoping that this little game with Enzo was only temporary, and he couldn't believe that my emotions were still so strong for him. He takes a deep breath and answers me with an almost desperate tone in his voice. "Please...don't take the ring off...please don't..." I turn my head away as tears well up in my eyes, and I sob quietly."Too late, Tom, " then I get up, pick up my things, and run out of the library.
It's too late to stop me, and Tom watches as I run out of the library. The tears in my eyes have shattered what remains of his heart, and he feels like all hope has been shattered along with it. He lets out a heavy sigh and stays silent for a moment before he gets up and follows after me, deciding that this conversation wasn't over yet. When I arrive in the corridor, I can no longer hold back my tears and start crying. I didn't want it to come to this. I didn't want to take the ring off..I ...am just so hurt and to be near him. I just miss him so much, and it hurts me so much not to be with him and his teasing way, his way of dealing with me.. I can't do this. Tom catches up to me, but he's hesitant to approach me as he sees how devastated I'm right now. He wants to comfort me, but he's afraid of hurting or upsetting me. He watches me cry from a few feet behind me, unsure of how he should react or what he should do. He hesitates for a moment, then takes a deep breath and finally walks over to where I'm standing.
"Lucia...wait..." He gently places his hand on my shoulder, and he feels his heart sink at this moment as I'm shaking and sobbing. When he looks at me, he feels his heart shatter even more at the sight of me this way. He has never wanted to see me hurting, but he doesn't want to leave me here alone now. As his hand rests on my shoulder now, he asks me calmly, "Can we please talk?"
"Tom, there's nothing to talk about." I pull my shoulder away. "You don't care about me. I was a nice occupation for you." I walk away, and Tom stops in the corridor, his heart as broken as mine. Tom feels a stab of pain in his heart when I pull my shoulder away and say that I have nothing to talk about. My comment about being a nice occupation for him makes his heart sink further, and he's not even sure if this can be salvaged at this point. He feels like a part of him just died, thinking that I can't care for him anymore. He watches me walk away for a moment before he calls out, "Lucia..."
I heard him, but I just kept running. I can't risk another glance because I want to jump back into his arms. But the fact that he's going to the Yule Ball with Valerie makes my stomach turn. Tom stands there, the ring in his hand. He thinks about what he promised me and that he can't keep it. And the thought of Enzo, of all people, going to the ball with me now makes him sick.
Tom stares at the ring in his hand, and he can't help but think of my reaction before. The way I acted so hurt when he teased me about going with Valerie, and how I suddenly slammed the ring down and told him to give it to her instead. It's almost as if I don't even care about the ring anymore, and his heart sinks even further than before. The thought of me going to the ball with Enzo makes him sick, too, and his stomach feels like it's in knots because of this entire situation.
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Tom Riddle - Downfall
Fanfiction"The monsters were never under my bed. Because the monsters were inside my head. Because all this time the monster has been me." This is the Story of Tom Riddle and his life in Hogwarts when he was 17 and Lucia Grey, a popular girl from Slytherin bu...
