Trapped inside a Thunderstorm

Just one thought....

My worries were more than just a bit, all night they kept me awake and all night, I have cried soo much that I ran out of tears. In the end, I cried myself to sleep. No one came to wake me up, no one checked upon me. I was all alone. This was the sad reality and I knew it before as well. However now... now it just sunk on me... and I felt horrible. There was no one I could trust in this world. No one who was caring for me, no one who I could love and everyone just hated me. What did I ever to do deserve this?

Did I even do something wrong?

Are they not just blaming me because I was there?

Because I was the youngest?

Because I was weak?

Because all I wanted was love and affection?

Yeah.... I was an idiot to think I could change anything at all. 

When I woke up, I felt quite sluggish and thirsty. My sense of hunger was none existant as I was just there feeling as if someone had just pushed me off a cliff. There was this chunck of nothing, in my throat. It felt as if I was being chocked, no words, no trears, no sound... I couldn't do anything at all.

Slowly I regained my conscious back while I woke up, and I couldn't take being in this room anymore. I've locked myself up in here and no one cared. So of course who was I about to ask for anything than not myself. I was thirsty and hungry though the hunger was not somethig I could get rid of that easily. I knew I couldn't eat anything with how I was feeling. If anything, I knew that I would perhapse throw it up again the same moment. Just the idea of food was actually making me sick. 

With the intention of getting something to drink, I opened the door just to see two gards there. Was this really their idea? Was I a prisoner now? Did they trust me this little? 

I felt betrayed from the bottom of my heart... however besides that I started to feel angry. Too bad that I really didn't had the energy for this rght now.

Me: Move.

Knights: I am sorry we can't.

Me: ...Hah... so I am a prisoner now?

Knight: No-

Before this knight could say anything more the head butler came over and started to explain the situation. He seemed, not that happy to see me. I wouldn't really blame him since I am a fake. since they have finally found the real daughter, I was sure to get out of here. The honest truth was that I couldn't take anything anymore. The way they looked at me yesterday was the last straw which gave me a reality check. I knew it already and it was a harsh one. 

I am the fake.

No one loves me... 

I am the villain.

No one cares for me....

Butler: These knights are here for your safety.

Me: My safety?

Butler: Yes.

Me: .... Then there surely is no problem of me leaving this room, is there?

Butler: The duke wants-

Me: Am I prisoner cause if I am not, then you should step away now.

They all looked at me and I was just plain tired. I couldn't stand talking to them anymore and I think that the butler knew that things would escalete from here on out. It was him who told the guards to let me leave and I then told them all off. This was none of their business and I wanted to be alone. I really wanted to and thanks to all this, I suddenly felt like walking outside and just stay outdoor the whole day. We had a huge garden so why not?

That is what I wanted to say but I hated it the moment I saw Ivonne. I was walking straight into her as well... my luck was really something else. This was not something I wanted to handle right now and so I bowed my head to the real daughter and pardoned myself. She seemed conused but she let me leave. I knew that I would flip if I would encounter her, besides that... I heard the branches making some sound and trust me there was no animal around here. We had enough guards patrolling around. It had to be one of my so called family member.

However little did I know that it was far from over as Ivonne started to literally run after me!

Why would she do that?

Couldn't she read the room?

No... this was not it....

Something felt off and I couldn't deal with all this right now. I was tired of trying. I just wanted to be left alone... after all, it seemed that this story, this future was already been told and set in place... why change something?

If anything... I might even do it a favor and stop being myself.

HAH..... one thought.... it was one thought but it sounded more appealing to me than anything else right now.

Was it really the answer?

Was it really not a situation that I could save myself from anymore?

Then again... wouldn't it be easier to know how to die than die by a sword?