What My Mother Forgot

The Renaissance is a Riot

My Dad is a nerd. 

He's also a misogynist. 

He could not wait to take me to the Renaissance Faire.

I could not wait to go.

But I had to be old enough. 

I had to be good enough to go.

Finally the day came and what I wanted to do most was see the horses.

Not the jousting.

I wanted to pet the horses.

Not too long after we arrived we had a snack, and we stood under this huge oak tree to eat it.

It was really busy, and the trashcan was across the courtyard.

After I threw away my wrapper, I headed back toward my dad, but some guy nearly barreled into me screaming.

Terrified, I booked it back to my dad.

But he wasn't scared, he was laughing.

At me.

Which made me mad and more than a little embarrassed.

"Why was he running?" I asked.

Just then another man ran by, but this time I saw who was chasing him.

A woman in costume ran after him, and just behind her some guy (also in costume) was skipping.

He paused to yell, "Running away from a lady, aye?"

My dad pointed to them, "They are trying to put him in "jail."'

To which I asked, "What did he do wrong?"

I did not want to make a mistake and get chased.

"Nothing." He answered. People could sign up whoever they wanted to be "arrested."

Then they would have to perform (while being heckled by a crowd) to get free.

And this explanation was not a reassurance to me. 

Because my parents liked my singing voice.

They paid for voice lessons, and they always wanted me to perform.

After all they paid for it, right?

I wondered if my dad was going to have me put in jail. 

Would I have to sing by myself to get out?

He walked my brother and I over to the "jail" stage so we could see it.

We watched for a few minutes,

Then my dad leaned down and said, 

"You better be good today, or I'll have to send you to jail."

I don't really remember what else happened that day. 

But I know was very, very good.