Like A Villain - I Love Noah Sebastian-

3. Love's The Death Of Peace of Mind

I did one more glance over of everything in the flat to make sure we weren't leaving anything behind. We were going to be away on tour for the next few months and I wanted to make sure we had everything we needed for the long days on the road. It wasn't my first time tagging along with Bad Omens. Being an article writer for Metal Hammer magazine, I had the luxury of "working from home" which meant I was able to travel and be on the road with Noah, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about all of this.

The last few days I barely spoke to Noah and kept my distance. I was starting to cool off a little because he was so adamant that he was sorry about the bathroom incident, but a small part of me was still upset by it. Both Noah and the guys all worried that I was no longer coming, but they were relieved to see me come outside with my bags.
Folio came and helped with our bags and him and Noah always made sure I never had to lift a finger even though I was always more than capable. As soon as we loaded onto the bus, I found me and Noah's bunk in the back. We had a long drive this morning and I didn't sleep well the night before. My head was throbbing and all I wanted was to take a small nap.

When I laid down, I had my eyes closed for a few minutes before Noah came to find me. He had been giving me the space I needed the last few days even though it killed him inside. He couldn't help it anymore and I felt the bed sink as he climbed in behind me. I was laying on my side facing the wall.
I didn't say anything, but I felt Noah spoon me from behind and wrap his arm around me protectively.

"Thanks for coming along even though I know I didn't deserve it...." He whispered and brought his hand up to stroke my hair lovingly. I sighed a little to myself hating how hard he made it for me to stay mad. His touch felt electric after going without it the last few days.

"I promise you I'm gonna do better, Eve. Especially for you. You deserve the best version of me and I've been an ungrateful dick."

I kept my eyes closed feeling the strain of them starting to water but trying to stop myself.

"I just...I can't explain to you how it felt to see you like that, Noah. Why do you do these things to yourself?" My voice trembled.

"I...I don't know. I'm an idiot Eve.
I know it's not the answer you want but I just don't know how to act sometimes and I'm sorry. I guess I have no self control....I'm going to get my shit together...I don't want to lose you."

I just sighed not knowing what to say. He's apologized multiple times with no results...I think he truly meant what he was saying but he was never persistent enough to let it all come to fruition. But...even through all the disappointment,  I could never just turn off my love for him even if I tried.

"No one will love you the way I do." He finally said in a whisper.

I closed my eyes feeling my tears come to the surface but I refused to let them fall. I felt him nuzzle his nose into the back of my neck giving me goosebumps.

He held me until we both started to drift off into a slumber knowing we had a lot of hours to go before the next stop.