Like A Villain - I Love Noah Sebastian-

25. But I Can Try My Best To Just Pretend

Noah continued to text me every other day for a few weeks, to which I never responded because I stopped reading them. This was the lowest I had ever felt in my entire life. Not only was I missing my other half, but the one person I gave my everything to was gone for good. It had to be this way. If I continue to forgive him, he will eventually just repeat the same pattern. I loved him more than I loved myself...and some days I even debated for a millisecond if maybe I just wanted my life to be over.

Nick, Folio, and Jolly kept in contact still wanting to spend time with me even without Noah. I was thankful for them but knew they were a package deal with Noah and sadly in would more than likely have to let them go. Of course, Folio being Noah's best friend, never failed to continue to tell me how broken Noah is. I didn't think he was trying to guilt trip me or anything but I just kept telling myself we don't belong together,

One day when I was out to lunch with Jolly and finishing up, his eyes widened when he remembered something. He hadn't brought up Noah the whole time, and it was pleasant. We had just paid our tab and were getting ready to split ways when he reached into his back pocket and slid an envelope across the table. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion looking at him suspiciously. 

"Just take this. Before you ask, no I didn't read it and I have no idea what's in it...but I was asked to give it to you so do what you will with it."

I felt my stomach turn with nervousness and my hand trembled as I took the envelope that had "Evie" scribbled across the front. I recognized the handwriting and my heart started to beat faster. My mind began to run wild with all the possibilities of what it could be. I already dreaded whatever it was. I was sure that it wasn't anything that was going to make me feel good.

I sighed shakily knowing that familiar look Jolly was giving me.

"Eve...I know...but..he really is doing terrible without you. It's like he's on autopilot. He barely eats...he's been skipping rehearsals..."

"I don't care Jolly.  That was the final straw."

Jolly ran his hands over his face looking frustrated and for a moment I thought he might me annoyed by me.

"What..." I asked him hesitantly.

"Listen...I don't want you to get the wrong idea on what I'm saying Eve. The way he treated you was not okay and what he did that night was so fucked...but he really is trying. You don't know what it's like seeing him barely functioning every day because he doesn't have the energy to leave his bed."

"He did this to himself!"

"I get that Eve!" He sighed seeming exasperated and it made me feel like I was the troublesome one. "If you would let me finish..."

I bit my lip and sunk down into my chair. Jolly was usually so neutral and I had never seen him this aggravated before. The least I could do was hear him out.

"Eve I've seen you both together and apart...I know you two love each other. I've never seen him care for anyone the way he does you...but unfortunately you guys also hurt each other the most. He's an idiot. We both know that. But you act like you've never made a mistake in your life before.

I scoffed a little taken back.

"Have you forgotten that I've forgiven him multiple times for things that he's done?! When does it end, Jolly?! If I continue to forgive his terrible behavior, it's never going to change. I've been with him for four fucking years and we haven't gotten any better." My eyes watered feeling so foolish for staying for so long. "And look where it got me..." I pointed to the bruises on my face and Jolly just looked down hating this entire situation. Everyone just wanted me and Noah back together and wanted things to get fixed. Noah without me in his life was a difficult situation to witness.