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Bad Omens released their new album at the beginning of the year, and with no surprise, everything took off fast. They booked a European tour for three months, and then they agreed to another three months in the U.S before they got to come home. After Noah left, it didn't take long for the internal demons to start kicking my ass mentally. Every day the tears would come out of nowhere, and on the inside I truly felt like dying, but the only thing keeping me sane was Scarlett.
Almost as if he was still able to keep tabs on me, Ryan started calling the house as soon as Scarlett and I were alone. It was making me regress, getting more scared he might try to hurt me or Scarlett again. I always rejected his phone calls of course, but with Noah not being here, it just made things so much harder on me. Although Ryan was exposed for the monster he is, fans are crazy and I'm sure he still had some people to carry out his dirty work if he wanted them to. My paranoia had set in and combined with the loneliness of missing my husband, it was pure torture for me.
One day, when Ryan kept calling back to back, I just couldn't take it anymore and I felt like an ant underneath a magnifying glass staying in that giant house alone. That night on the phone, I sobbed to Noah, telling him I had to get out of there.
"I just can't do this anymore." I sobbed feeling like he was being so dismissive of my feelings for weeks.
"Evie...why don't you just come out here for a few days to get away from everything?"
"I've already told you, being cooped up on a tour bus with a toddler isn't necessarily the best plan for us..."
"Well I just don't know what to tell you Eve." I hated how toneless he was. I could very much tell that Noah was so burnt out from all the traveling and chaos, but he just wasn't showing me any sincerity lately. "I'm trying my best to be there for you babe, but there's only so much I can do from the road."
"Yeah I know, Noah. It honestly seems like you don't even care." I snapped, feeling so helpless. I was over tired between trying to make deadlines and taking care of a very cranky Scarlett and Ryan making an appearance again was triggering my PTSD badly. I felt so alone.
"...really Eve? You're gonna do this right now? We've done this before and you said you understood my career..."
"That was before we had a daughter that I have to console every night that keeps crying for her dad...and before I had a psychopath still calling me trying to threaten me from prison! I just don't know how much longer you expect for me to stay here in this big empty house." My eyes watered and my lip trembled, so happy we weren't facetiming this time.
"You're acting like I want to be away from you and Scar when that's completely false."
Our arguments were becoming more frequent and on top of everything else I was so close to the edge. I recognized he was also under a lot of pressure, never quite himself while they went on long tours like these, but it felt like my husband was completely absent, not even offering me emotional support lately. I was truly overwhelmed.
