I Hate California

twenty two

I laid there, just trying to catch my breath. I can't believe we just did it. I missed him, I really have. My mind was going back and forth between Travis and Joe. I didn't know what was happening, I didn't what I wanted.

"Joe" I whispered in the dark.

"Hmm?" He said pulling me into his embrace, we were both still naked.

"You didn't have a condom on, didn't you?" I said nervously, looking up at him.

He didn't respond and I watched as I saw his eyes go wide in the dark. I sat up, turning on the lamp on my night stand.

"Okay, calm down. We'll take this one step at a time, if anything happens, you tell me, okay?" He said in a shaky voice and I nod my head.

This would be the worst time for me to get pregnant, I'm not even dating Joe, I'm dating Travis, and I have a tour to finish.

We quickly both put our clothes back on and passed out onto the bed. I was thankful that Sage didn't wake up tonight.

-

I felt someone get in between us and when I opened my eyes, Sage was underneath the covers between Joe and I. I smiled and pulled her into my embrace and she wrapped her arms around me.

"Good morning Mommy, why did Daddy get to sleep here?" She questions pointing at him.

"Daddy was afraid of the dark" I joked and she let out a giggle that was loud enough to wake Joe.

Joe pulled Sage into his embrace and I watched as the two cuddled each other. A wave of sadness just hit me, they were both leaving today.

I helped Sage get ready this morning after we all ate a quick breakfast. Since Joe was already here, they were leaving this afternoon. I watched as Joe carried all of their luggage downstairs, there was a lot.

"Mommy, I want to keep Piggy here" She says placing her pig on the couch.

"What, why?" I asked, still weirded out by her gigantic pig.

"So when you miss me, just cuddle Piggy!" She exclaims with a proud smile, making my heart melt.

"Oh baby" I said, pulling her into a hug.

I wasn't going to be seeing her for a while, I would be going back on tour in another country and then she would eventually go back to school soon.

"Mommy loves you so much, you call me whenever you want okay?" I tell her, helping her tie her shoe laces.

She nods her head, "I will!".

She gives me one last kiss and I hold her tightly and watch as Joe places her into the car. I didn't have the guts to go with them to the plane, I probably would've hopped on it with them.

I waved goodbye as I watched the car back out of the garage and closed the door behind me.

I needed to go back to my daily routines, working out and dance rehearsals. I also needed to finish packing my bags since I would be gone for a while.

My mind slipped back to what happened last night. I can't believe Joe and I had sex, I can't believe he actually wanted to do it with me again. I wanted to get back together with him, I really did, but I just know I shouldn't. There isn't any reason for me to leave Travis, he has treated me better than any other man I've been with. What happened with Joe and I, that was all on me ever since I left him with our baby.

-

"Did you have fun with Mommy boo?" I asked Sage as we walked into the house. She nodded her head with enthusiasm and sprinted up to her room. I chuckled and followed behind her.

I was fixing Sage's suitcase when I noticed a small little gift bag in the pocket of her suitcase. When I pulled it out, it was filled with candy. Confused, since Taylor and I agreed she could only have candy on special occasions. When I emptied out the bag, I was shocked to see it was filled with reeses pieces and peanut butter cups.

My blood was boiling, Taylor said she had fixed her suitcase, was this some sort of sick joke? I grabbed my phone and dialed Taylor.

"Hey, how's everything so-" She starts.

"Why is there peanut butter in Sage's bag?!" I basically yell through the phone.

"W-What?" She stutters on the other end.

"Taylor, I don't know what game you're playing or if all of this was all an act, but why is there peanut butter candies in her bag!" I yelled once again.

"Joe, I swear I didn't put that in there! There isn't any peanut butter candy at my place, what so ever!" She argues on the other end. I sigh, rubbing my face.

"K" I say and hang up the phone.

I stuff the candy back into the bag and go downstairs, throwing it into the garbage in the garage.

"Hey, Daddy! Did you throw away my candy?" Sage says following behind me, making me stop in my tracks.

"Sage, you know you're not allowed to have candy, especially peanut butter, you're allergic!" I tell her sternly.

She gasps, looking back down at her feet. "But Travis gave it to me as a gift, he told me it was a secret because Mommy wouldn't buy me candy the other day...".

I saw fire, I stormed back up the steps and emptied out all of her bags, making sure they were cleared. Sage ran in, watching the while mess go down.

"I'm sorry Daddy" She whimpers fiddling with her fingers. I shake my head and hold her tightly in my arms.

"It wasn't your fault. I don't think he knows you're allergic, but either way you don't keep secrets from your Mommy, got it? Travis got you candy that you are not allowed to have" I tell her and she nods her head.

After getting her situated back in the living room, I dialed Taylor again.

"Joe, please" She answers.

"Does Travis know that Sage has a peanut allergy?" I asked.

"Yes, obviously I needed to tell him" She tells me through the phone and I could feel the anger building up.

"Tell me why Sage just told me that Travis gave her that candy and told her to keep it a secret from you? I don't who that man is, but I don't want him near Sage ever again" I state seriously.

"What? Travis gave her those?" She questions in a shocking tone.

I nod my head, "She told me after watching me throw them away".

"This isn't a game, I don't know what he was trying to do, but playing with my daughter's life isn't very funny" I tell her.

"I'm going to talk to him" She said with anger in her voice and hung up the phone.

I throw my phone down into Sage's bed and continue going through her things and organizing everything. I couldn't stop thinking about what just happened, after everything Taylor has told me about him, that was honestly the least thing I would ever expect him to do.