I Hate California

thirteen

I had just gotten done with all of my Mexico shows and it was an experience, for real. I had so much fun, everyone was so happy and I loved being able to tour internationally again. 

Although I had a great time, Sage was constantly on my mind. I felt bad for not calling her as much as I promised, but I was so busy and she had a schedule, so ours never matched up. Joe has been really helpful with texting me on her daily activities and also sending me many photos of her. Travis is going to come along with me for my Argentina shows after my break and I'm actually really excited. 

I've talked about Sage to Travis recently and I could tell that he had already fallen in love with her. I'm being very careful on who to mention Sage about to because to be honest, I just want to keep her mine forever. If Travis is going to be in my life, he has the right to know about my daughter, but at the same time the information is limited, for the sake of Joe as well. 

I think back to the day I went over to their house and the little incident happened, me kissing Joe. I never meant to actually kiss him, I was in a mood, I was upset and for some reason our lips connected. I want to say that I didn't feel anything, all of my feelings are towards Travis now and I wouldn't do anything to break that. But for some reason, I still liked it. 

I landed back in New York last night and I wondered if Joe would let Sage come over. From what I had heard, her mood had shifted ever since she left me the last time and I feel like it's because a certain little girl misses their Mommy. 

"Would you be willing to let Sage stay with me for the a week? It would help you get your work done and I've got quite a break before my tour starts again" I text Joe. 

He mentioned to me that his parents were constantly coming over to watch Sage, not like they didn't want to, but he felt bad. Work was getting hectic and at this point, all of it couldn't be done online anymore. I wanted Sage to get out of the house more and most importantly, wanted to bond with her more. 

-

I looked at the text that Taylor had sent me a minute ago. I looked over at Sage who was napping and thought for awhile. It would be a big help for me and would save my parents from constantly watching Sage from early morning until late at night. 

While we've been home, Taylor has been constantly asking about Sage and what she was doing and more questions about her which I really appreciated. I haven't mentioned it to anyone, but I was thinking of Sage being able to stay with Taylor when she had time, no question and then come back to me when she was working again. I felt like I could trust Taylor again and this week of her watching Sage would test that. 

"That sounds like an awesome idea. I'll talk to Sage about it and see what she thinks and let you know, thank you again." I text her back. 

When Sage woke up, she was bouncing off the walls, excited that she was going to see Taylor again. I haven't spoken to her about when she called Taylor, "Mommy", but I do sometimes mention her by that name. 

It was Friday, so I'm going to be flying with Sage to New York City Sunday morning and then after getting her settled in, I'm flying right back to California. I was worried, Sage and I have never been apart for longer than one whole day. I kept reassuring her that she could call me whenever she felt like it while she was at her Mom's. 

"What toys do you want to bring baby?" I asked her as I started packing her things.

She put on her thinking face, "All of them" she suggests and I laugh.

"We can't do that boo, I'm sure Taylor will continue to get you more toys, so we need to pack light" I tell her with a wink and she giggles, knowing Taylor will buy her anything. 

After packing, I looked at the two large full suitcases, I know it's only for a week, but I'm not risking anything happening and made sure she goes with everything she needs. 

-

As I prepared for Sage, I decided it was finally time to reveal her room. I had ordered a new bed for her, some more new toys and clothes and made sure the room was squeaky clean. I found out that Sage's favorite color was yellow, so her bedsheets had sunflowers on them, the walls had little sun stickers and it was a whole new aesthetic. 

I decided to clean out one of the guest bedrooms and make it into a playroom for her. When we emptied it out, I didn't want to buy all of the toys now, I wanted her to pick out most of the toys, so I'm waiting. 

I stocked the fridge and pantry with all of her favorite snacks and food, all organic, Joe's request and made sure there was no signs of peanuts in this house. 

"I'm so excited!" Sage yells through the phone. 

She was leaving tomorrow morning and I face timed them to see how Sage was feeling and it was everything I imagined. I wanted Sage to meet my parents and I had let Joe know that they would come over while she was here and he was fine with that. I didn't want to introduce her to too many people, so we were taking it one step at a time. 

"I hope you have a good sleep baby. Sweet dreams and I'll see you tomorrow!" I tell her over the phone and I watch as she hops around her bedroom cheering with joy. Joe was sitting on the floor and watched her with a huge smile on his face. 

Hello everyone! I just wanted to make an announcement incase anyone was confused, but since in the story Sage is on summer break and in real life by the time Taylor started the Mexico leg of the tour, kids are usually in school by then in America, so in this story it isn't the same timeline. 

I've also really enjoyed seeing everyones comments and reactions throughout the story, it really puts a smile on my face, honest ;) !