With flying colours

RACE DAY

TW: SH, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Y/N POV:

We all wake up extra early today to make sure we are at the paddock early.
We get to the paddock at 6:30am and I am still tired but max and jad are wide awake with so much energy.
"Y/n go to my drivers room and go back sleep we will wake you up before the race don't worry" max says whilst looking at me with bags under my eyes, no makeup and no coffee in my system.
"Gladly" I say with no hesitation walking over to his room. Jad follows me, he doesn't want to be alone with max. Not after last night
Max stops him before he catches up with me.

"No funny business. If I find out you two did anything in there. You will be sorry" max says
Scaring the shit out of Jads ass personally.

He finally catches up to me and holds my hand on the short walk to max's driver room.
I lie down on the massage bed and Jad sits in the chair next to it.
As soon as I touch it, I'm almost asleep.
Jad strokes my hair and when he sees I'm asleep he kisses my forehead and falls asleep himself holding my hand with his head rested on the bed.
A couple of hours passed and it's now 11:30am
I look down and Jad and don't want to wake him up he too cute so I take a picture of him and decide to wake him up.

The race doesn't start for another like 6 hours so we wonder around the paddock.
Jad puts his arm around my shoulder holding me close as we walk.
An Interviewer comes up to me and start asking questions about me and Jad.
"Hey Y/n. Could you tell us your relationship status with the boy next to you??" She asks kindly
"Yes I can. This is Jad, my best friend and now my boyfriend" I reply back to her
"Aww you two are so cute together, congratulations. I'll let you go now, bye see you later" she says
"Thank you goodbye" I say.

Im starting to get used to the crowds and interviews and press and paparazzi.
It's just normal to me now.
Me and Jad carry on walking around the paddock and find max talking to Naomi from sky sports.
We walk over and she greets us
"Oh hello y/n, hello Jad" she says
We reply back with hello and max has a confused look on his face
"How do you know his name?" Pointing at Jad
"Everyone knows him. He's y/n boyfriend and he won the junior karting championship a few times" she says replying to maxs comment
"Wait how did you know about those step dating?" He says looking angry
"Well everyone knows, an interviewer asked them and she told them" Naomi replies.
"I'm sorry Naomi, I have to leave. Y/n come on" he says looking madder but the second

Max takes me over to his drivers room.

"Y/N WHY DID YOU TELL THEM YOU WERE DATING???" He says yelling at me.
I yell back. Im sad that he's yelling at me but I'm sick of not sticking up for myself. I need to get over it.
"BECAUSE I DONT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE. IM FUCKING SICK OF PEOPLE BOSSING ME AROUND AND TELLING ME WHAT TO DO SO STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME BECAUSE YOU WONT FUCKING CHANGE MY MIND!" I reply back, I run off and go to the Ferrari garage hoping to find Charles there.
He is there with Carlos, his team mate.
I decide not to both him since he looks busy so I go looking around for someone I can trust, that will understand me. Someone that I want to see right now. I would look for Jad but I don't want him to see me like this.

I figure that everyone is busy right now since the race is soon. I know that nobody Is in the redbull motorbike. Everyone is in the garage. Including Jad.
So I decide to go sit in maxs room and call down.

The thoughts start to get to my head on how I should just die. Everyone would be better off without me. I want to die.
But what if people miss me?
They won't.
Who am I kidding why would anyone miss me.
I'm a waste of space.
I sit down and open the back of my phone case.
I find the tool I used to use to cut myself.
I sit down on the floor, tears rushing down my face
"Hello old friend" I say to the blade
"You missed me?" If anyone saw me talking to the blade. I would look crazy. But right now I'm alone. Nobody around.
Nobody to stop me.
Nobody to judge me.