My Angel Has Tattooed Wings

Chapter 23: The End

Chapter 23:

*Fast forward a week*

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, nervously tugging on the skin tight material hugging my sides. It was the only black dress I had and it was tasteful and appropriate to wear but suddenly I didn't feel right in it. It used to be a favorite dress and now I, along with the rest of my skin, couldn't bare to wear it.

My eyes were tired, expression pinched, cheeks and waist line noticeably thinner when my frame was already skinny.

I didn't know how people went through these. Yes it was to honor their loved one but how could one attend the funeral of someone they care for so much without dying a little them self?

"It's going to be okay." Austin whispered and I looked over to see him leaning in the doorway. He was worried about me, I still had yet to speak since I found out so it was only natural for him to. I wish he wouldn't but I couldn't make myself talk to reassure him.

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, leaning his chin on my shoulder and peered at us in the mirror. His face was thoughtful for a moment before he finally spoke.

"Funerals may be a ceremony to bury the dead but it's really a celebration of the passed. To celebrate her life and who she was, what she meant to you. It's your chance to lay to rest all your feelings and say what you have to say before she finally rests." I nodded, he was right, this was the time to show her my love and celebrate who she was but it still didn't ease the pain to think that way. "And don't look at yourself like that, you're beautiful." He murmured, pulling my dark hair over one shoulder and whispering in my ear. "She loved you so much, now it's your turn to love yourself for her." He said, turning and walking out but when I didn't move came back and took me by the hand and led me out with him.

Angel had made a huge breakfast, though it was already passed lunch, to celebrate and help lift our spirits but I found it hard to even touch my food.

"Evan please eat." Austin urged. "Your mom wouldn't have wanted this, she would have wanted you to carry on and be happy and healthy." He said. To make him happy I ate some eggs and a piece of bacon but it all tasted like rubber.

-------------------

The cemetery was packed that day with the black parade. Friends and family of my mother all filed past her casket, shedding their tears, condolences, and love while I had to stand next to it and shake their hands as they passed.

Her church pastor delivered the prayer and there was a quick rose ceremony as everyone who had brought flowers came up and one by one and placed them on top of the coffin. Then people who wanted to went before the procession and spoke of their love and memories of her. Many urged me to speak my piece as her daughter but I still hadn't found my voice so Austin had to explain to them why I wouldn't.

My final words to her should be between the two of us anyways. No one had the right to listen when it was a matter so close to the heart. They didn't have the same bond with her as I did and couldn't comprehend my actions but still said nothing to offend the girl who was clearly already broken.

The casket was lowered and the crowd began to leave. I stood in front of it in a line with my friends saying our final goodbyes.

"Any last words of parting?" Angel asked, looking down the line at me and everyone's gaze followed hers to me.

"Yeah, I have something to say." Austin said, crouching down as if to speak directly to her. "Im sorry for all you have suffered and I hope you're in a better place now looking down on Evan because she need you. She can't say it but she loves you and misses you, we all do even though we only knew you for such a brief time.