Tmf dump book !

85 - incorrect quotes

Henry: *counting on his fingers.*
Doctor: I just asked how old you are.
Henry: can you shut up for a second.

Zander: did you know that when you break a bone it typically will heal stronger then before
Milly: so your saying I should break every bone in my body until I become invincible?
Zander: ....Milly please do not.

Zander: you have such a dry sense of humor. You laugh at everything.
Milly: no I don't
Zander: cornbread
Milly: AHAHAHQHAHAHAHF

Luke's mom: I found out today.. the baby is a boy
Luke's dad: well promise me one thing. We name him Luke.
Luke's mom: aww, after your grandfather who did everything for you?
Luke's dad: no so I can say "Luke, I am your father" like in star wars.

(Car is hanging off a cliff)
Shannon: oh my god Zander! Ok, back it up!!
Zander: really mom? I thought I might drive it forwards! I thought that might be a fun thing to do!

Zander: yeah I've never been a fan of romance.
Milly: *rolls eyes.*
Zander: what?
Hailey: last week Luke brought you a can of Dr Pepper and you broke down in his arms in front of the entire club
Zander:
Zander: that DOESNT COUNT

Hailey: *holding up a mop* Sean? What would you call this?
Sean: a mop?
Hailey: Jake, what did you jsut say it was?
Jake:
Jake: a wet broom

Hailey: anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
Sean: can't relate
Milly: why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Liam: drew said he'd go out with us but he's sleeping
Henry: dw I gotchu *runs to the kitchen and back.*
Henry: HEED MY WISH FOR I PRESENT FISH *throws a fat slice of salami on drew.*
Drew: *jolts awake* I heed your wish for I shall consume fish?!? HENRY WHAT THE FUCK IM TRYING TO SLEEP.

Hailey: Bethany, I need you to swear-
Bethany: FUCK
Hailey:
Zander: I think she meant as a promise

Hailey: wake up! The sun has risen!
Zander: ok what do you want me to do? Photosynthesize?

Milly: *falls through the roof of house.*
Elliott:
Milly:
Elliott: hey Milly
Milly: hey Elliott

Jake: Hailey just tried asking me if I was ready to go to sleep but instead it came out as "do you want to use the sleep?"
Jake: and then she just kind of looked really horrified at herself and whispered "maybe I need to use the sleep."

Zander: mom.. Michael.. I'm gay.
Michael: what?
Hailey: he doesn't like women
Michael: sexism?! When I married your mother I promised I'd never have any of that in my house!
Shannon: Michael.. no..

Drew: the average person spends 18 hours online per week
Henry: you mean per day
Drew: what?
Henry: what?

School nurse: okay Henry, how did you get a concussion?
Henry: I uh went down the stairs last night.
Drew: you stole my mattress and slid down the stairs.
Henry: like I said, I went down the stairs.
Nurse, rubbing her temples: I don't get paid enough for this shit.

Jake: *hands bowl of soup to Hailey.*
Half of his brain: careful, it's hot!
The other half: here's some soup!
Jake: careful, it's soup!

Henry: okay, truth or dare!
Drew: truth
Henry: how many hours have you slept this week?
Drew: dare
Henry: go to sleep
Drew: I don't like this game

Hailey in ep six after putting Luke Milly and Zander together: I swear between the three of you there's only 1 brain cell!
Milly: *can't think of a comeback because it's not her turn with the brain cell.*

Drew: what do you look for in a bf?
Henry: uhm I like girls
Henry: but if I was looking for a bf he'd have to be big and strong :3