Forever Yours (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 16- Tell Me Everything. I Need To Know

Chapter 16

Tell me everything, I need to know

After a while of walking around with Vanessa, we somehow ended up near the park. I wanted to go straight home, curl up in a ball and die, but I couldn't leave Vanessa alone. Yes, what she did was horrible and I have every reason to hate her right now, but after everything she's just admitted to me, I don't have any hate left. 

Instead of walking home, we walked anywhere and everywhere in silence, sometimes sharing past memories of our childhood, and laughing at each other's past. I figured I might as well get to know her a little better, since she has just revealed a big part of her life to me: something so personal and painful, I guess she at least deserves a friend right now. Vanessa was a nice girl when she let down her guard; I actually enjoyed her company, and the fact that she likes the film 'Nemo', the best thing ever. Yes, I'm a fan of Nemo.

Once we reached the park, we took a seat next to each other on the bench and smiled. When we left the graveyard, I got tones of messages from my mum asking about my whereabouts; but as if she cared where I am anyway. She's probably too busy spoiling my brother, or drinking her life away. Okay so that's a little harsh, but no one has ever cared about me, and that's true. Everyone leaves, no one sticks around longer enough to learn anything about me, or even care about me enough to stay. I guess I and Vanessa aren't so different at all, as we have each been hurt in the past. She's lost her mum, and I've lost my best friend: her dad drinks to forget, so does my mum.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and turned it off, gazing towards the clouds in the sky and laughing lightly.

"Hey, that cloud looks like a rabbit" I mentioned, pointing to the funny looking cloud in the sky, and smiling slightly. Vanessa turned her head to the direction I was pointing and giggled, noticing the replica of a rabbit.

"Yeah, I see it. But that one there looks like a shark, don't you think?" I smiled and nodded my head, leaning my head to the right to take a better look. I used to do this when I was younger, just look at the clouds and try to turn them into pretty things. In fact, Sophie was the one who taught me to think like this, to see things in a different light, and use my imagination. Why did she have to lie to me for so many years? She knew I was gay so why didn't she say anything? I hated knowing that my best friend- only friend- lied to me about something important, that could have changed everything.

"You okay?" I heard, as I pushed my thoughts to the back of my head, and turned to Vanessa beside me. She actually looked beautiful, considering she had been crying earlier, with make up running down her face; she looked fragile and fearful, like anything and everything could break her, at any second. I felt sorry for her, a part of me wanted to leave her here, in her pitiful life, but my heart understood. I knew what pain and loneliness felt like. It then hit me, Vanessa and Jess were best friends, what happened between them? I know they became distant because of her attitude and decisions, but what else happened?

"Yeah, I'm fine thanks. Can I ask you something personal?" I mumbled, feeling like I'm being too nosy, and prying into her business, but it was really bothering me for some reason. If Jess was in love with Vanessa before, then how come they never got together? How come they haven't tried to work things out, or talk to each other about it?

"Sure, what's up" She asked, seeming confused and concerned. I turned my gaze to the floor and thought about what I was suppose to be asking. Do I just causally ask about their relationship as friends? Or their past together? I don't know, but I was craving to find out everything, even if it's not what I want to hear.

"What happened with you and Jess? I mean, how come you two aren't close anymore? She told me you and her were really close a long time ago, how come you aren't now? Do you guys like each other? Do you want to be with her? Am I getting in the way of you and her?" Okay...so that's more than what I wanted to ask, but I couldn't help the fact that all of these questions were bursting out, wanting to be answered. Thus, by the look of her face, she must think I'm crazy. But either way, she smiled lightly and laughed. "What? Why are you laughing?" I asked, confused.