Forever Yours (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 29- Moving Forward

Chapter 29

Moving Forward

A felony consists of acts that can destroy a person’s life, whether it is murder, theft or worse. Sitting here now, thinking about the way i had hurt Amy, I felt like I had committed a crime too.

Maybe it wasn’t murder or theft or worse, but it had left me with a sentence twice as worse as any sentence can be. Five years of heart break.

Five years of countless sighs, numerous soaked pillows from the runaway tears, it was hard to bare the thought that I had lost Amy. All this time I had thought about our future and what we had, planning out our entire relationship. It may have been short lived, but it was the most special part of what I have lived.

I should of just been honest from the start. Told her the truth about Jess and why I had tried my best to avoid her sister. Amy walked out before I had the chance to explain the reasons for my actions. Although I wasn’t with her when Jess and I kissed, it didn’t matter, because her heart was already taken by me. As for Jess, she was using me and a part of me already knew that, I just couldn’t face the fact that I could be alone. I was confused with the whole situation, but i was so sure about my feelings for Amy.

From the moment I lay my eyes on Amy, I knew she was something special, someone I’d learn to fall in love with and spend my nights dreaming about, my mornings waking up to pick up the phone and dial her number, waiting to hear her beautiful voice on the other end. She was someone I’d like to spend the rest of my life with, until five years ago, I had destroyed that image. I had kept a dark secret from her, thinking it wasn’t anything big or worth fighting about, but in reality, it had broke us apart.

I remember the day she walked out of that apartment, keys in her hands, ready to leave me and our relationship for good. After she had left, I picked up my phone and tried to ring her, but my luck had clearly ran out, because her phone was laying on the kitchen table, ringing away. I sighed. The next thing I know, there was a knock at the door.

“It’s open” I shout, knowing exactly who it is.

Since Amy didn’t cancel our dinner plans, it was obvious that Jess and Vanessa was already on their way. Now, they were standing in the apartment, looking around, confused at the missing person.

“Hey, where’s Amy?” She asked, as Vanessa stood by her side, smiling away like she had won some type of prize. That’s exactly how I felt when I stared into Amy’s eyes. Yet, all I can feel now is guilt, pain and loneliness.

“She’s gone” I croaked, feeling the tears build in my eyes at the words Amy had spoke not long ago.

‘We’re over’

Surely she could have let me explain, I know she’s upset, she had every right to be, but I knew I only want her. What Jess and I had was nothing, just a stupid mistake that had ruined my life.

“What do you mean she’s gone? We’re supposed to be having dinner aren’t we?” Vanessa asked. She seemed to be oblivious of the situation. But by the looks of Jess, I think she knew exactly what was going on.

“She knows doesn’t she?” I nodded, a tear escaping my eye as I grabbed the cushion beside me on the couch and squeezed it against my chest. My heart felt like it had stopped beating by then, tearing into shreds and screaming into my rib cage. All I could do was cling into the cushion and hope to feel something other than that.

“What happened?” Jess simply asked, sitting beside me as she brushed her hair from her face. Vanessa followed and took the empty chair from the table, the table that was once occupied by Amy and I, kissing passionately. She placed it next to Jess and held her hand.