Erik x Reader (One shots/ Scenarios)

Erik X Anxious! Reader

Request by: KatelovesSunandMoon

The request is for reader with anxiety, depression, and ADHD buttt I will lean more towards anxiety because that's what I suffer with the most, but I will try to do what was asked!!

------------------------------------------

   I lie in my bed staring at the ceiling in my dark room. All my lights are out and my curtains hide the ferocious sun outside. The sun called out for the day to start, but I refused. I swore I was going to get up today, but I stayed trapped with my invisible chains strapped to the bed. I was going to go to work and get everything I needed done today, but instead I didn't let my day start. Now, it is far too late to do anything. I am late. I am past late, everyone must've given up on me arriving. Despite having not moved a muscle all day my heart is racing and my brain will not let me rest. I am a failure. 

   A loud knock echos at my front door, then a few seconds later two more. I let out a shaky breath and turn my head to the wall. If I don't answer they will go away...

    My heart skips a beat as I wait to see if there will be another response. Whoever they are should leave my front porch alone, there are no visitors today. No admittance; except on party business.

   Thankfully, the knocking stops. I would rather have my mental breakdown by myself, thank you. I close myself and take in a few deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. While I do that there is another knock...at my window!

   My soul practically leaves my body as I turn around to see what made that noise. My curtains are closed so I have no idea what it is, but I notice that what little light did come into the room is now gone. They are blocking my window...I slowly get out of bed and get low to the floor. I move one of the curtains slightly and peer through while staying hidden. It is a person! I squeak and move back in fear, then a second later my brain realizes who that was. It's Erik!

   My fear dissipates as I open my curtains. Erik in his all black attire looks right at me, his cape blowing in the wind looks even more mysterious than he already is. He says something the moment he sees me looking. I give him a confused expression and point in the direction of the front of the house, "I cant't hear you! Go to the front door!"

   It seems that he didn't understand what I said either, but my gestures make it clear. I shut the curtains and watch his silhouette walk off. I rush out of my room and head to the front door, I move so fast I almost slip on the mat in front of the door. I catch myself by placing my hand on the wall and then I unlock the door and open it up wide. He speaks before I even get a chance to question him.

   "Where were you today? You usually say something beforehand if you can't make it to the opera house." He takes off his hat and quickly adds on, "I was looking forward to our morning conversation."

   My heart pangs in guilt. Great, something to feel worse about. Every morning, before we get too busy with our work, we talk. It's always random and just about whatever pops into our heads. It is always a delight whenever I can get the great opera ghost to smile during it, or even better: laugh. Today I missed it. He must think I am so selfish for staying home and doing nothing. 

   I gesture for him to enter my house while turning away. He sighs softly when I don't look him in the eyes. Erik walks in and shuts the door, then puts his hat and coat on the coatrack. "I'm sorry if I sounded mean just now, I am just worried." He says that last part gently, he looks like he means it genuinely. I wish I could believe him.

   We walk to my living room and sit down on the couch together. I chuckle a bit to myself as he doesn't hesitate to sit right beside me, when he first came over he sat on another seat. He was so shy he couldn't even look me in the eyes. That was years ago. 

   Erik gives me a distraught look while waiting for me to explain myself for my absence. I bite my bottom lip nervously and wrap a nearby blanket around myself. He rests his hand upon my thigh to comfort me, his hands are always cold but somehow it does help me. 

   What can I even say? There are no good reasons to excuse myself. Why couldn't I just get out of bed this morning?!

   "I was anxious," I mumble awkwardly. 

   His thumb rubs over my skin and asks, "Why?"

   I laugh nervously and look away from him. Thoughts swirl around in my brain, they are clawing at my mouth to escape. I stay silent. 

   He can tell there is something on my mind, but he is going to have to work it out. He moves in a little more and tries to comfort me, "I'm here for you. Take your time...just remember whatever your reasons are for staying home are okay. I just wanted to know if you were okay."

   His words are so warm and gentle and soft...I don't deserve his presence and care. He could be working on something important, but here he is talking to me instead. I sigh roughly, trying to keep my negative thoughts at bay. 

   "I couldn't get out of bed." Erik tilts his head with a questionable look. I expect him to say something sarcastic like, 'You have legs, don't you?' or, 'Then how did you get out of bed yesterday?' But he doesn't. He just continues to wait for me to explain myself. I usually like his sense of humor but I am glad he doesn't bring it out now while I am talking seriously to him.

   Words rush out of me, I don't know if they make sense but it just needs to come out. "I've been so anxious about work-about the day. I have so much I need to do but I just can't. I can't concentrate enough to do it. I keep doing everything else but what I NEED to do. And I know this, but every time I try to do my work I freeze up. I am not good enough to do it. I am a failure, I can't even complete simple tasks. I can't even pick up the damn books and clothes littering my floor! I get so anxious about not doing anything, but I get anxious doing it! I can't do anything!" 

   He stops my rant with a touch of my arm. He was worried before but now he looks even more so. He grabs my hand and squeezes it, "You are not a failure. I understand what you are going through, you're not alone." Those simple words already begin to calm my brain, and yet he continues. "You can ask for help, remember that. If you need help with work I would be happy to help. I can clean up around your home too. Anything to get something off your brain. You're human, it is good to take a break. Take some time for yourself."

   I laugh softly again to myself. This feels like something I would say to him to help him. He obviously remembered the things I told him...and has now reminded me they qualify to myself too. I finally look into his eyes and give him a big smile, "Thank you, Erik. Gosh, I can't thank you enough." I drop the blanket from around me and melt into his body. He turns bright red as he slowly rests his arms around me. There's that shyness I love. I giggle and press my face into his chest, "You're so cute."

   He turns even more red and mumbles, "I was just speaking the truth." His head lowers so his chin rests against the top of my head, "I'm staying with you today, by the way."

   "Good. You better not move." I snuggle more into him, it takes him a moment but he finally relaxes and holds me tighter. 

   "Never. I'm always here for you."