Secret Love

Chapter 32

In the small kitchen area, Levi sat at the small dining table near the only window in his dorm where he resides with Dante. Looking at the clock on the wall, which read half past nine, Levi sighed; this was when all the gates to the campus would have already been closed and locked. 

Any student that was out late past this late on a weekday would have to wait the next day for the gates to open again and find their accommodation for the night somewhere else.

Levi turned from the clock on the wall to the untouched food on the table. Once he had returned to the dorm after running around all afternoon, Levi did not forget to prepare dinner; while preparing dinner, his eyes always hurried to the door, waiting for it to open.

As he laid the last plate of food on the table, Levi picked up his phone and dialled the same number. Placing the phone down on the table, Levi pressed the speaker button. A loud "Brr Brr" sound echoed in the small, spacious room.

After a few more seconds of ringing, the phone at the other end stopped ringing; thinking that Dante had finally picked up, Levi quickly dropped his fork, picked up the phone and brought it to his ear before saying a loud, cheerful "Hello" only to be disappointed as a loud beep could be heard before going through to voicemail.

After eating his dinner, Levi cleared up the table, covering up the untouched food and placing them in the fridge; then washed himself and went to bed, not knowing that tonight was the first of many nights he would be sleeping without Dante. Something he was not used to, as Dante's presence always made Levi sleep soundly through the night.

For the few days that followed, Levi continued to call the number on his phone that had now been embedded into his mind; every time Levi dialled the number, the same dull beep sound came from the other end. Reminding himself that the person who had built their way into his heart no longer wanted or needed him. 

The moment he opened his heart to someone, he was again pushed to the side. Like his childhood, every person who ever made their way into his life eventually left him.

What was the point of having a heart if a heart is only meant to be broken? What is the point of opening his heart up if it only leads him to suffer alone? 

Levi had vowed to get past his university years and graduate, then leave this place, as he had never set foot on it. He had planned to make himself invisible and get through the years peacefully. He vowed to close his heart to everyone so it would be a smooth exit when the time came for him to leave.

But all his wishes had come tumbling down when his eye met Dantes. He knew that the peaceful dorm life he wished for was already over before it began.

It had been three weeks since Dante left; three weeks Levi continued to attend class, eat and sleep without Dante. Three weeks was enough to break a person who once immensely enjoyed life's solitudes. Someone not used to another person's touch now could not live without it.

Picking up his notes from today's lesson, Levi stared at the page until droplets of water hit it, making it hard for him to read. He realized that tears had started to fall down his cheeks. Putting his notebook down, Levi wiped his tears. With the back of his hands, but no matter how much he wiped, the tears flowed uncontrollably down his pale, soft face.

Moving away from the bedside table, Levi crawled up to the bed and curled himself into a ball, hugging a scentless pillow that used to smell of cedar, citrus, and vanilla with a faint touch of lavender.