Look At Them Now: A Jelena Ending

Could it finally be?

JUSTIN'S POV

The air felt heavy and maybe that's because the minute I stepped foot into the kitchen this morning, Hailey sat with her hands crossed in deep thought. Her pursed lips, hair pulled back and her slouched shoulders said everything they needed to. She wanted to talk and I wasn't sure how exactly this was going to go.

I walked into the kitchen, standing across the island that separated us and I leaned against it with my hands at the border. My eyes are on the ground as I take a deep breath, afraid to see the hurt I'm causing her.

"I'm surprised to see you here," I start slowly.

"You know when you first told me you wanted this break I couldn't put the pieces together as to why but then it all made sense when I saw who you spent your weekend with," I look up, she's sitting back against the chair with her arms crossed, much like a mom waiting to reprimand her child.

"Hailey I-"

"Do you know how much it hurts Justin? Did you even think for a second about anything?"

"Of course I did," my fingers curl and uncurl against the counter, trying to latch on to the honesty I need to deliver.

"How did this happen? How long was this happening for?"

"It wasn't like that Hailey I swear. I didn't want to hurt you which is why I ended it when I realized I can not continue a marriage with you while still in love with my ex." There it was the words that I was forcing deep into my mind for all of these years and all it took was a moment with Selena to have them flood my brain like they once did. I had to continue and tell my truth, she deserved that much. "I love you, I do but reflecting on it these past couple of days I realized I love you as my friend. You were there to pick up the pieces that you shouldn't have and no one deserves to feel second best in a marriage. I had to end it."

"You are everything to me and now everything's just gone," her lips tremble at the last words. I see the tears collecting on the sides of her eyes, until they slowly descend down her cheeks. Like a reflex I walk towards her to wipe them away but she pushes me off. "Don't," she says quickly composing herself. "It was always going to be her wasn't it?"

"I can't help what my heart wants. After her VMAs performance it was inevitable. I still felt something hearing her words and I knew. But, I was trying to do right and love you in the best way I can but you deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them. I'm really sorry that it couldn't be me."

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for wasting my time with you, even after everything. I won't knock you for doing what your heart wants but I don't know how I'll be able to move on from this. I'm broken Justin." She's crying again, more this time. "I just wish I was the one who you wanted in the end." Tears of my own surface my eyes as I hear her words. It's the silence that fills the room. How she just stands there processing, like I've knocked the air out of her with something invisible. As though she was waiting for me to be better and realized I wasn't going to be, not in the way she wanted me.

All I could do was stand there, it wasn't the guilt that was eating me alive in that moment— it's the knowing. Knowing that not only did I break her heart once but twice now. She handed me her heart while I became her safe space and here I was destroying it. It resembled much of what I went through with Selena and this is why I need to cut that cycle and better myself as a man.

She slowly stood up, placing the chair back into its proper space before grabbing her belongings from the counter. She threw on her sunglasses, shielding the continuous tears, and began walking towards the door.

"I'll send some movers this week to gather my stuff." She didn't turn around when she spoke, instead she fidgeted with her hands before placing something on the side table by the entrance. I knew what it was even from here— her wedding ring. The door shut closed behind her and that's when I let out a much needed breath and fell onto the floor letting the tears fall willingly.

My chest ached, lethally.

I never meant to hurt her in the way I did. But I'd be doing her a dishonor if I wasn't honest with myself and her. She patched me up when I was broken and that's something I will forever be grateful for, but to love her in the ways I love Selena was like trying to sell a dream that was never meant to be true.

The day passed, still in the same position I was before unwilling to move. My phone buzzed violently in my pocket several times. I thought about answering it, thought about the possibility of it being Selena but I couldn't find the strength in my arms to do so. My stomach pinched so hard bringing me out of the trance I was in. I rolled over, squinting my eyes as the lights from the kitchen ceiling shined a little too brightly for my tear stained eyes. My phone vibrated, not a text, but a phone call and without another moment of grieving I answered.
"Hello?" my voice was strained, horsed, broken. It wasn't just about crushing Hailey's heart but I had lost a friend in the process.

"Justin," I heard the sigh of relief on her end. I clutched the phone tighter, yearning for comfort. "I've been texting you. Are you okay?"

"It's done." The words escaped my lips like lava, burning just enough to cause a flinch. "No more pretending. If we're going to do this, I'm showing up whole this time. I won't rush things between us."

"It's all I ever asked of you," She whispered.

"I know," I let the silence linger as I stared at the ceiling. Marriage did not solve my problems because I didn't take the right route. I promise to make myself better, to give Selena the man she deserved all along because even in this chaos we've built, we were always meant to be.

The hurt?

I can't promise that won't happen.

Nothing's ever just plain and simple, I've learned that the hard way.

No matter what, the one truth I know is that I'll always choose her.

I'll always choose Selena.

AN: short chapter, but I hope you enjoy! ❤️