Something New | Taraji x Fantasia

Oprah Interview: Fantasia (Part 3)

Standing off on the side with Taraji as we wait for the interview to begin, Taraji offers gentle rubs to my arm as we wait for Oprah to join the set. I look around to the right, down a hall that is dimly lit, a shadow is visible. The shadow is familiar, like the one I saw in the house. My heart rate picks up as I think back to the day.

I've recalled the day in therapy previously,  so I've worked through the distress it caused. I close my eyes, using the box breathing technique to sit with the uncomfortable emotion and remind myself that I am in no danger.

Inhale, Hold

Exhale, Hold

I repeat the technique three times and slowly open my eyes. I blink my eyes orient myself to the space and bright lighting. I look down the hall and the shadow is no longer there.

I look back to the set and then to Taraji. A door opens to the right of us and out walks Oprah. We watch her walk to a seat on the set and her team walks over to assist her.

A person from the team lets me know they are ready for me to join the set in the seat adjacent to her. Taraji grabs ahold of my hand and squeezes it, she rests her hand on my shoulder. I'm proud of you, baby, you'll do great. I smile wide and rub her hand.

I join Oprah on the set and she adjusts in her seat leaning forward.

I apologize for my ambiguous response earlier. I took into consideration the look you gave me and the way I left while I was getting ready. I am in no way judging your involvement with Taraji, I apologize if that was how it came off. When you were here the last time I saw a glow around you that I had never seen before, I saw the way you both interacted, and that was when I knew. I say all this to say, I hope you're happy.

She rubs her palm on her thigh and offers me a smile sitting back in the chair. Let's get this interview started.

I took in every word she said and smiled looking over at Taraji. Taraji's expression read as one of curiosity, a silent beckon for clarity looming. I winked at her and gestured that everything was fine.

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Miss. Fantasia Barrino. Brava. Brava. Brava. Brava. I am so happy for you and I am proud of you. Thank you for joining me here today. She claps her hands together in a celebratory way.

Your career started over 20 years ago as a contestant on American Idol, to performing as Celie on Broadway, and here you are now starring as the lead of The Color Purple:Reimagined .

How was playing Celie different now than it was then?  She opens the discussion with her first question.

I sat with the question briefly and released my breath before responding.

I'm different. When I did Celie on Broadway, I felt a lot like her. I never felt pretty, I did not feel desirable, and I never felt confident. I had no voice, others spoke for me more than I did for myself. I felt that way for a very long time, I still did during the making of the film. Celie's demons felt like my own. With her reimagined in this film, she had the opportunity to find herself, Celie and I are the same. I believe in myself again and that has been a journey. I lost so much, but I gained more. I've found myself and I've found love.

Tears are streaming down my face and I pick up a tissue that was on the center table to dab my cheek to collect the tears that have stained my makeup.

Wow, I might need a tissue too.

Oprah grabs one from the table and wipes it under her eyes.

Okay, Celie had some powerful moments in the film, one of them was her singing I'm Here. I was on set when you sang and every time you sang it, I cried. Where did you go to reach the emotions you portrayed in the film?